Today, I was in the bathroom taking a massive dump, with the door closed, moaning and yelling to get it out, knowing I was home alone. When it was done, I walked out to see my mother on the couch, who said, "I know masturbation is normal, but please try to do it while we're not here." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
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Top comments
Plop 17
Time to eat some freaking fiber dude.
draghkar 18
“Who’s number two’s boss?!?”
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Comments (4)
Plop 17
Time to eat some freaking fiber dude.
RichardPencil 32
Listen well! With a name like Plop, he must know what he's talking about.
draghkar 18
“Who’s number two’s boss?!?”
Royal Sataness 4
see a Dr my dude. working that hard for a shit isn't normal
JasonThorn 23
"Oh, no. I was just taking a dump the size of a birthday cake! I mean, I thought I was going to need a CROWBAR for it. Let me tell you what it looked like, and how it felt pushing...hey, where'd you go, Mom?"