wtf
United Kingdom
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
mimi
United States
Today, I shat a magnet. FML
41k312
Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
leprechaun23
Cleveland, United States
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
Staples
United Kingdom
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
SenorPoopypants
Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML
sadface
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
Australia
Ouch
Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML
Anonymous
Self-own
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Anonymous
Jeremy?
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
TuteBananaCupcake
Dayton, United States
Autopilot
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Maddie
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
Top comments
rockerbaby3192 0
why did you eat one
BShady96 0
this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (393)
rockerbaby3192 0
why did you eat one
whiskuit 0
He obviously needed some papers stapled together. ...in his colon.
johnson94 5
lol 14...
CryMoreFMLs 15
Must be in of those wierd people who eat metal to get stupid achievements in record books..... .....or hopefully Darwin Awards.....
imlagginglol 0
When your high on shrooms, staples are really appealing.
herrobear 0
They're so delicious, but they come out kicking.
strizz18 0
I guess shit happens
lonewolf6613 4
44 they don't come out kicking. they come out poking
BShady96 0
this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-
imacreeper 3
I'm guessing you reaally like heavy metal, huh OP?
lonewolf6613 4
59 me too. I clicked the second one and then pressed the button to go to the previous fml. it's really annoying though
comepoopwithme 0
#57 how original
FarSide 23
You must spend a lot of time inspecting your dukey.
LaDeeDaDeeDaLaLi 0
same here 59
gmc_blossom 21
Me too. -_-
VEVO_fml 0
Thumbs Up if it took you a long time to click on this FML like the juggalo one...
theaws0m3guy 4
I just thought of a great, original pun!...Well that's a shitty situation! Original right? It's not like it's overused and not funny anymore!
adropofpeace 8
"that was easy"? No wait wrong kind of Staples... you'd should try bringing lunch to work and not eating your office supplies...
staymintyfresh 13
me too!
tony1234 0
same here 59
bubble25_fml 5
he obviously wanted all his shit to come out nice and packed and stapled together, but didn't realize that a staple is no good without a stapler. next time remember to eat the stapler for desert op :)
7mood75 7
Staple happens.
brianjman14 23
Same with me, 59.
Krystalyyy 0
me too! blahh i kept trying and finally got it. badass
Aim4thebullseye 4
that's a shitty situation
mismonroe 0
Don't act like it's the first time your ass has been torn up.
usmcdvil 4
Same here 59...
iknowimawesome 13
yeah that's what I did. it is really really annoying.
immja 0
@6 strong with you the force is
princessRiRi97 0
He needed his rectum scratched..a staple did the job
lntreis_fml 0
That FML is so short that I wasnt able to click on it on the iphone app!
pman590 8
I did too I had to go to the second one and go up 1!
throwglitter1 0
I did too!
imosim 0
hi I am lord titty kaka
modelmefamous 0
171- I think we all established people had trouble clicking it.
angrymexican 8
I was gunna say the same thing
athena3100 9
same! i couldnt get it opem!
Firecrotch07 0
Does everyone have an IPhone?
mismonroe 0
I'm on my iPad and it does the same. So not all iPhones, just way too ******* short.
jess_h14 2
I'm on my iPod and had no trouble..
TheSithAssassin 15
It was a cheaper way of stapling his stomach.
pimpsgirl69 0
ewwww
Ryley1 0
Leave him alone, he was just trying to keep his shit together.
BlastedAF 0
-____-
meredithxjane 0
me too 59. it kept going to where I would submit one or where you vote for the I agree your life sucks and ydi...
froggies8828 0
I'm on my iPod same issue guava this is dumb
spearodude 0
glad to see we are on the same page.
dolphincheddar 10
59 - yep. same here on iPhone
practicesafesax 0
Well, idk it sounds pretty appealing to me.
thefuckinggreate 0
yes
spider63 0
he ate it because he felt they weren't enough sharp objects in his colon
KRS_13 0
me too! lol
fuff_fml 4
same with me number 59! lol
ShyAnn29 15
I did too!
kenji212 8
ummm...... he ate it cause its a great source of iron! XD
ILUVMSC 5
85, ur kinda stupid..
zimandme123 0
lol same here 59!!!
zombi3ki113r14 4
u wouldnt have to inspect it. im pretty sure your going to feel a staple come out i you shut it out...
wordnerd42 0
So nobody on this thread appreciates the potency of 5-word FMLs, they just whine about their thumbs' inabilities to hit a small target? I personally enjoy concisely effed lives x)
aubrey1 0
I second that. Haha.
Huge_p3n0r 0
ejaculation is key to success.
sac2000 6
no one knows
rofflewaffle 9
Haha, all the people who had trouble opening this one on their iPhones have fat fingers. :)
accordman 0
why indeed
cutiepie343 7
Same...
honbut 1
@194 seems that way
kevinkev 0
chubby fingers :P
tiberhit 6
Maybe you might consider losing some weight then? At least until you get rid of the huge banana fingers you currently have.
gabby1995pena 4
me too!
meggieh815 0
they were hungry. :)
ShakeMeDown 12
win.
blinkingstarlet 15
bahahaha i cracked up reading this. good call! lol
eurostar710 11
YDI for eating a staple?
Riturz 4
In my mind, I imagined that the staple shot out like a bullet or something...what's wrong with me..
tearsXwillXfall 2
Why did I get thumbed up so many times just for asking a question?
mrwelsh3 0
you suck at life.
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
Your mom sucks at life.
paras0mnia 3
your mum sucks Johnson :P
aubrey1 0
I second that motion. And OP, try not to eat staples. there's a better way to get iron in your diet.
Rape_Laser 0
37- that's meh last name
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
21- aaawwww heellll noooo dont take my name!!!
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
Sorry homedog I wasn't sure if the name was taken. Ill just change it to chode smoker
schaflava 0
there will be blood
cgchamp89 7
I enjoy eating staples, too......... wtf OP?
enonymous 9
I believe you have my stapler... red swingline... ok I guess I'll burn down the office....
the_hypnotoad 5
Perhaps OP has pica?
KARMAREBEL 0
how did u post this?(not pointing at reply)I meant this FML IT IS LESS THAN 30CHARCTERS RYT?
thisisFMLsoFYL 11
Judging by the huge negative number on ur comment, I'd say u suck pretty bad at life too
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
Way to go retard.
NomOnShroomz 14
^Way to go troll.
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
That's what you think.
Person1233 13
What **** the?
mattmadden 0
this you Why are like talking
ghashlycrumbs 8
Lysdexia?
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
84- make dont of fun lysdexia.
aardvarkish 17
It's "Dylsexia"! Get a clue...
techweed 12
134 - it's a joke, asshole
AnagenisisZagus 13
142, dman! Clam dnow!
shutupYDI 4
you guys not that's funny.
AmberGale13 0
is that suppose to be dyslexia?
mismonroe 0
Not at all, Amber.
zelhackin 0
weird This really is
YacL 15
Wow, mind rape.
Thanatos1206 0
Sound like Yoda you guys do.
tpike1296 11
You **** have I SyDlexia Funny it's and nto DMANM!!!
aardvarkish 17
142... You just proved my point in 134, as did everyone else who thumbed me down. If you read it carefully, you'll see why.
mismonroe 0
I seeeee. That looks too much like a typo, mr. switching ships! ;)
MrSassypants 34
269 yeah you mispelled dyslexia as a joke but it was too close to the actual spelling to notice it.
aardvarkish 17
It was a test. It was only a test. Had it been a real emergency, I would not have been playing with people's minds. For the Freudians out there, the spelling "Dyl-SEX-ia" would have signaled an even DEEPER issue...
fyl11122233 0
don't you mean "shit"
OceanBreathesSal 5
no they meant shat
johnson94 5
Shat = fart + shit there is a simple math equation that will explain it for you...
sassypants93 17
18- That would be shart. Shat is what they say in the UK. It is the past tense of shit.
Just_Peed 0
it's actually SHART..comes out in "Along Came Polly":)
FastLikeATree 0
'shat' is 'shit' in past tense
Escapebrideswith 0
No. Shat is past tense for shit.
carlito1234 0
no, he means 'shat' , learn some grammar
ooooooooooooh 4
shart = fart + shit
Crazy4Christ 0
I'm pretty sure the H was supposed to be a P
MizzErikaHart 8
no. shat is past tense for shit. fart+shit = shart.
shovels 0
the past tense of "shit" is "shit". shat is probably just shit with a staple or two... So, I guess he could've just said "I shat" and we would understand.
stopdonkey 0
no he means shat dumbass
aardvarkish 17
214, the correct past tense of "shit" is "shat" but the Americans have forgotten that. Notice the OP is in Scotland.
fadingaway 17
Huh? The past tense of shit is shat.
meggieh815 0
We have established that shat is the past tense of shit. You can stop trying to be smart now. Thank you, and goodbye. :)
cetlawizard 15
no, the politically correct term is shat, as in having already done it...in other words: while doing so, I am peeing, & afterward I have peed...I am ******** out a staple, & afterward I have shat a staple. :)
Nachas1021 0
thats shart dumbshit
DaniBee420 6
hilarious, everyone is on here discussing the grammar of the word shit. made me laugh more than the FML itself :)
GimmeFive 10
No! Shat! Shat shat shat!
Megan0527 0
I'm horny .
Taurusbaybe 8
I enjoy watching your picture evolve over time :).
jmmille 0
haha!! Wait a sec.........I wouldn't want to be a human centipede with anyone.
jellitonoctopus 19
wouldn't want to be a human centipede with you.
youFail2 0
I think you mean human centipad ***
dius 0
you suck for not making south park episode reference
Lumenoire 0
110- I'm sorry, but you fail. And your name is just making it worse.
matt0794 1
I wouldn't want to be part of a human centipede period..
XxXPromiseXxX 0
at least it wasn't A caterpillar...
iSurf_fml 8
Because it would come out as a butterfly. Duh. I'm surprised you didn't apply that yourself.
XxXPromiseXxX 0
a previous FML god
PaisleyKing90 0
ahh I love that.