Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML
Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
illusionay 10
Maybe you shouldn't be near a stapler for a while....
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a great comedy act. Here's your stage name: Jean Stapleton
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a great comedy act. Here's your stage name: Jean Stapleton
illusionay 10
Maybe you shouldn't be near a stapler for a while....
Andrewx8 12
or mabye ever...
Lalala579121 28
...How?
Soninuva 41
The first step is always admitting the problem. Good job, OP!
SneakyDeath 15
Ah yes, the stapler: workplace's natural enemy.
00whyalwaysme00 4
I literally did this last week as well
DanaeZee 18
I feel your pain. In school I managed to put the needle through my thump and sew myself to the fabric (and the sewing machine because the needle broke off). When I was back at school a week later my teacher wanted to know how I was able to do this...so I showed him ...and yeah, my other thump got a piercing, too. Good thing: I wasn’t allowed to use the sewing machine anymore and could do wood work (as a girl I wasn’t allowed there before).
DanaeZee 18
I have no idea why I wrote "thump" instead of thumb. My English is pretty bad...but not THAT bad. o.O
kaymo2 21
This really needs a YDI button
elainebarish 8
Maybe they thought you were just taking the extra mile on that joke?
blueiceninja 13
That's some dedication to the joke.