Today, a woman I've never met drove to the house I live in and tried to buy meth. She knew my name and I have no idea how. I retired from the Army in December and I'm in the hiring process for Customs and Border Protection. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sold cigarettes to a woman who promptly told me that she smoked meth. It's only my second night working this job. FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML
Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
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Top comments
sloppyarab 2
It’s a test. Some vets when coming back start using drugs.
RichardPencil 32
Army and Customs and Border Protection, eh? You probably know where to get the really good meth then! This could be another spin-off of "Breaking Bad", but you're going to have a tough time competing with "Better Call Saul."
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Army and Customs and Border Protection, eh? You probably know where to get the really good meth then! This could be another spin-off of "Breaking Bad", but you're going to have a tough time competing with "Better Call Saul."
sloppyarab 2
It’s a test. Some vets when coming back start using drugs.
Brian Lee 3
Thats methed up. Probably a test