Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Do as I say…
Today, as a gynecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML
Don't shoot the messenger
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Cheers
Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
Top comments
FMLKitten 15
At your age, you're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. Well don't, because if you do, you will develop chlamydia. And die.
syki 22
Maybe we should slow clap.
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Comments (131)
keidus324 6
Sounds familiar... Nerd girl in college, finally loses virginity, condom not only gives hives but also breaks, gets pregnant. Awesome story to tell my son once he's born. Lol
Linaelle 14
74 : I have to ask one question : don't you have emergency contraceptives ("morning after" pill) in the US ? As far as I know, they are meant exactly for such cases when the condom breaks, and in my country, you can get them in every pharmacy... I'm just wondering because I see too much FMLs/stories along the lines of "the condom broke, and now I'm pregnant". (of course, if you were joking and I just didn't get the irony, nevermind ^^) And OP, FYL.
Juju123187 2
Yes the Us does have emergency contraceptives but girls here mostly a) don't notice it breaks b) can't afford it or c) think it will make the guy stay with them and they will mooch off their parents or hard working people like myself. Sorry to Op, but next time wrap it.
chellyX92 8
Juju, shush! If you can't tell the condom broke, by the fact it's leaking or there's a gaping hole in it they probably should not be having sex. Other then that you were about right. Emergency morning after pills do exist. And yes they are pricy. About $60.00 for two pills.
Linaelle 14
That explains it then. Where I live (France), the pill is free if you're under 18, and then it's around 8€ for two pills, which is quite affordable. I just have to wonder : why the f*** do they sell it at such a price in the US ?
chellyX92 8
It's all about the money. And no insurance covers those pills so a lot of girls pay out of pocket: that's amazing it's free for minors in France. Do the minors need prescriptions? In the US if you are under 17 you need a prescription.
Linaelle 14
Nope, you don't need a prescription (seriously, the whole point of this pill is to take it as soon as possible to maximize the efficiency, and good luck finding a doctor on a Sunday morning for instance)... and even if you are under 18, you don't need a parental authorization to get it. In some high schools, you can get the pill directly from the school nurse too. But then again, I feel the policy regarding (teenage) sex and contraception is very different here (insert snug and semi-ironical comment : as far as I know, a sex ed class in France will never be "so, kids, abstinence is your only salvation", and I can remember having a very comprehensive birth control class in junior high). And "all about a money", but how much does a teen pregnancy cost ? I find all this highly illogical to be honest ^^
outoftown 27
Linaelle, although the "morning-after pill" is legal in the US, individual states can make it easier or harder to get. Also, a given pharmacist can refuse to dispense it under a so-called "conscience clause" if the pharmacist objects to it on moral/religious grounds; that can make it hard to get in smaller towns.
outoftown 27
(follow-up) You're right, this is all highly illogical. Welcome to the USA, where cognitive dissonance rules. Re the money side: since there isn't a universal health care system, the buck gets passed again and again, and a simple, cheap solution like the morning-after pill gets expensive and possibly hard to access. Yup, we're nuts!
chellyX92 8
Linaelle, that sounds absolutely amazing. I can't believe they are that smart when it comes to sex Ed. My school taught abstinence and the pregnancy rate actually increased. It's been found in the schools that give out condoms and actually talk about sex and all the precautions, the sex rate and pregnancy rate are generally lower than the schools that teach abstinence. Kids don't have anything to rebel to if they are taught an unbiased approach to it. Right now in America for some odd reason our leaders are trying to lead towards and make this a Christian nation. Take away our right to have birth control, woman's right to choose whether or not they want to have a child. It's absolutely insane. And the one thing I liked about America is the uniqueness, that we don't have an official language, or an official religion. It made people comfortable being here being who they are. Idk elections are coming and I'm slightly nervous. I get to vote for the first time ever this year: it's exciting. We'll see.
nicoli7jj 3
Wow, in college and didn't have the smarts to use a condom..ugh.. Young people these days..
nvolpitta 2
Don't have sex because you WILL get pregnant and die! Has mean girls taught you nothing? Sorry about your bad luck op
ryggsekk 8
have cancer at 16, get castrated at 17... male will know
loveashlley 6
What?
DivineSunshine 1
Always use a condom. It could be worse. HIV, herpes, etc. Consider yourself lucky.
Gersh66 6
Bad luck breanna
Grauncho 27
Bad Luck Brianne.
HaiImJulia 3
Bad luck Brian...
liir 18
The OP is female. In this case, Bad Luck Brianna.
allplayedout 20
Well if you've gotta get an STD to learn that condoms aren't optional then there are worse ones to get than chlamydia...at least that goes away with antibiotics. Keep some latex funbags with you always OP, you never know.
conholio33 28
That does suck OP