Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, I went to collect my clothes out of the dryer. Thinking it would be fun for my small dog, I brought her with me. I put her down and let her sniff around while I put my clean clothes in a basket. I turned around from putting more clothes in the dyer to catch her peeing in my clean clothes. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and told me she "had a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So I hurried home, only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML
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Top comments
JuneBleeds4 20
If they're that bad (hey, accidents happen), throw them the hell out.
Nazmazh 18
Have you heard of a clothes hamper? A laundry sack, even, if you use laundromats and such? Tell me you're not just leaving your dirty laundry in a heap all the time and have nowhere to deposit it while you wait to wash it.
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Comments (4)
Crowned Sataness 12
Learn to wipe your ass there, bud
JuneBleeds4 20
If they're that bad (hey, accidents happen), throw them the hell out.
Nazmazh 18
Have you heard of a clothes hamper? A laundry sack, even, if you use laundromats and such? Tell me you're not just leaving your dirty laundry in a heap all the time and have nowhere to deposit it while you wait to wash it.
Yudith 28
Of course he knows what a laundry hamper is. It's the empty basket he uses on laundry day to put the Batman, Pokemon, and Hello Kitty underwears that are lying all over his bedroom.
Wadlaen 24
As a traditional man, I'm assuming you're a guy, since you've got a girlfriend, but why do you just throw your laundry in your bedroom, don't you have a hamper or anything like that, and what kind of embarrassing underwear do you have?
tiptoppc 21
I’m guessing either ones holy enough for the pope, or (since it’s Australia) a thong aka “banana hammock.”