Today, as a gynecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my phone rang. We continued to have sex while I took the call. It was my gyno calling to tell me that I tested positive for chlamydia and that I needed to tell my partner. Yeah, sex ended real quick. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, a nurse asked me how many sexual partners I’ve had in the last six months and as I started counting in my head, I realised I need to make better life choices before an STD makes my crotch shrivel up and die. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, at my physical, I found out that my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me 4 months ago was not only cheating on me, but had also manage to catch chlamydia and give it to me. I'm now dating someone else, so I had to explain that I've had chlamydia for 4 months without knowing, and he should probably get tested. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Justkidding100 41
as a gynaecologist, you should know that both of those conditions are easily fixed with a pill.
tiptoppc 21
Unless in the USA, then you are vilified and declared a witch from the std alone. Thank god they aren’t in the USA. They’d be burned at the stake. God, the USA used to be ahead of others in science and theology. Now i feel we need a crusade to bring us to where we were 100 years ago…
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Justkidding100 41
as a gynaecologist, you should know that both of those conditions are easily fixed with a pill.
tiptoppc 21
Unless in the USA, then you are vilified and declared a witch from the std alone. Thank god they aren’t in the USA. They’d be burned at the stake. God, the USA used to be ahead of others in science and theology. Now i feel we need a crusade to bring us to where we were 100 years ago…
dreams2383 20
lol not true at all. the pill is over the counter and you won't be vilified by your doctor to get the pill for a std. seriously stop being hyperbolic
butterfly27 1
oh dear…. please find support within your friends and community and you will find the teaching and the opportunity in this situation ❤️. much love