Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to his best friend’s birthday party. He got her red roses, a necklace and $100 Victoria’s Secret Gift Card. This year he forgot my birthday, gave me a hug and told me to leave his apartment because he had homework to do. We’ve been together for two years. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I finally gave the guy I was with for over a year a blowjob. Right after he tells me "I don't want a girlfriend but I want you to be my best friend." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, and a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
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Top comments
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
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Comments (301)
shaBAMalex 0
Well hey, you asked. :]
thefutureiswild 0
what a champ.
bonicr 0
"New" being the key word OP. Also your friend's boyfriend probably wouldn't say he wanted a bj to his girlfriend in front of you, even if he was comfortable enough with her to ask.
toqwert 0
Your friends bf knows how to get a bj, yours doesn't...
marud 7
Gotta give him props for being honest ;)
o0ginger0o 7
still free...
jadedwaitress 0
Exactly. I'd rather give my boyfriend head on his birthday than buy a PS3
StayPlation2011 0
well you know what they say.. they're only sweet for so long.. lol
Scotth901 22
More like salty :]
Blithe_626 0
boys will be boys but still thts pretty fuked up
metalboyd 0
so what? you think that other guys doesent want one? he's still new in the realationship with her and csnt say that stuff yet , duh
twinscrplayer6 0
u no the other guy is only being sweet to get a bj right?
tellithowitis 13
What is up with everyone's grammar?
Teyros 24
Counter uav is up, their blind.
meowmeowmeow7 2
How is that ****** up? That's what my boyfriend wants. At least he's being honest. There's nothing wrong with wanting a BJ. They're boys dumbass.
Vaati_fml 20
307 - You're one to talk.
Shadowflames420 0
hanging out and watching a movie translate to ******** and coping a feel
notmuch 0
That's the difference between a new relationship and one that has been going on for a while. If you don't like it you need to switch boyfriends every once in a while.
sparda4355 0
The "other guy" just didn't finish his sentence yet!
dd3_fml 0
i have a feeling that your boyfriend was the honest one...
AlexOrban 17
100th like woooo
snoe0216 0
I feel your pain... sometimes I wish my boyfriend could be like guy #1, but I must deal with him always asking for a *******. Guys have such a one track mind! It's the biggest pain in the butt!!! I mean, we want to do something sweet for them, something romantic, and all they can do is think with their penis'.
crazycornn 0
so just because your boyfriend is sex crazed that means all guys are? stop being so arrogent! you have no right to clump all of the male population together and say they're all the same! not all guys are like that. as a matter of fact, there are a lot of guys that aren't!
foreverspellman 0
Also, a ******* at least in my opinion means more than just letting me get some. the very fact you'd do that shows a great deal of love. in a way, even a bj can be romantic. but no, don't do that. that's gross. and it's "just sex". Stop making us look like sex craved idiots and actually embrace the fact that we want to know we mean enough to you that you'd willingly do it, unless you've expressively stated you don't like it. There's nothing wrong with a romantic night without sex, but if you want him to remember it, show some actual affection that doesn't take you buying things with his money to do. Jesus!
stink_fist 1
Does he give u a pain in the butt
perfectwinds 0
If they're still together she should ask him the same question next year. She'll either get your answer or some other sexual favor. It's not a FYL at all or a YDI... It's just funny. Your life isn't ****** because your boyfriend likes your ********. Feel good about that, not all girls are good at it. Hey, he could be getting it from somewhere else. Then it'd be a FYL.