Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, as a gynecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
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Top comments
FMLKitten 15
At your age, you're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. Well don't, because if you do, you will develop chlamydia. And die.
syki 22
Maybe we should slow clap.
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Comments (131)
syki 22
Maybe we should slow clap.
Roevera 14
Bad luck Brenda?
tygerarmy 35
No, she wants us to make her a meme; someone get a picture of a celebrating nerdy girl surrounded by dudes clapping!
HowAreYouToday 34
The guy she screwed puts the STD in STUD. All he needed was U.
the_anti_hipster 7
No, not the clap, it was chlymidia! Oh wait, you meant--? Ah. Awkward.
CrewBoy 10
^ No need to be so crabby, Just lend him some AID and give him a Clap. And..... Well, I can't think of any other std nicknames.... ****.
MyNameIsViet 15
Well this is just another lesson learnt in your college life. Probably an important one too.
GypsyRover 0
I suck _I_k,take it in the a_s? Here's my number,call me when you're desperate.
UtterCatastrophe 4
The "clap" is actually gonorrhea. It received its name because when men had it they had to "clap" their penises just so they could pee.
xxhollilollixx 6
Don't forget the Wiggles..! "I've got the claps and I'm giving them to you!"
m_2_teh_c 6
I learn more here then I do in school. -_-
ttuseth 7
Here's another learning moment from here: than*
doctorhook86 25
115: Truth. OP: FYL, but this isn't meme-worthy.
negb 30
So you lost your virginity in a one night stand to some guy who had a sti? That's sad. Fyl but also ydi for not using a condom.
guinea14 0
126- tell me about it. And I love your picture :3
mrsmo2 5
I am so incredibly surprised that I had to scroll down so far to see somebody mention that she should have used a condom.
Mercyofall 9
AMEN
FMLKitten 15
At your age, you're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. Well don't, because if you do, you will develop chlamydia. And die.
mikeofthunder 13
The cat has spoken!
kut17 11
Don't have sex. Don't have sex standing up. Don't have sex in the missionary position. Just...don't have sex, okay? Now everybody take some rubbers.
FMLKitten 15
I typed. I didn't speak, I assure you. And if you heard voices reading my comment to you, I suggest you get help immediately.
the_anti_hipster 7
And 4 for you Glen Coco! You go Glen Coco!
wellfuuucckme 7
BOO you ***** ^^^^^
jennifer1renee 2
And none for Gretchen Weiners.
imaginger1 4
Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you the time you got diarrhea in Barnes and Noble.
FMLKitten 15
39- Thanks. Love you too.
Grimmerie 31
On Wednesdays we wear pink.
HaiImJulia 3
She doesn't even go here!!?!
cheekyterier 13
boo, you *****
jenloveslaughs 6
She asked me how to spell orange.
BrookeSnooks15 2
Oh my god Karen you can't just ask people why their white!
shanemcunt 10
Wait, is butter a carb?
weeabaka 6
I love you guys.
rocketshock 8
Yeah! Take your tops off!
juanaranda1015 4
It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide set ******!
oscar6464 8
That is so not fetch.
Drigr 9
That's Damien, he's almost too gay to function.
Kn0wledge123 21
We should totally just stab Caesar!
shannonpaige97 5
Boo, you *****. ;)
jacquesromualdez 12
"Tell him his hair looks sexy pushed-back."
BeforeItWasCool 12
And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!
Akazuki 26
"So if you're from Africa, why are you white?" "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!"
AphyTheBronette 15
Oh he'll no!!' I did not leave the project for this!!! -swings bat around-
BeforeItWasCool 12
It's south side actually, not projects. Ah just one more from me! Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
DaniPandi 22
This entire thread. I love all the references xD
riellllle 14
That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets!
SeleneB 1
Wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?
imavelociraptor 6
You kids need anything? Snacks? A condom?
StephLovesYouuxo 1
The plastics, Asian nerds, cool Asians, wanna be's, band geeks, sexually active band geeks, and the best people you will ever meet.
Kartor 6
You smell like a baby prostitute!
Kypopz 9
Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!
bluejayscheer 7
She's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking about crack.
mimi_animee 18
You can't sit with us!
SeleneB 1
I have really bad breath in the morning
SeleneB 1
Grool
DanniNell 13
Don't look at me!!
babyhands21 2
Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat, you're fat because I hate you.
jlavy 0
It's kind of sad that I'm a guy and I know exactly what movie you guys are quoting
SierraNoelle 7
I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.
alebunnie 7
I don't hate you because you're fat...you're fat because I hate you
FMLKitten 15
Did you see a nipple? It only counts if you saw nipple.
Vic213 2
I don't hate you because you're fat...you're fat because I hate you
funnytymz 0
well don't, because if you do, you will get chlamydia, and die.*******************^
MalloryKnox 8
say crack again...
clumsyninja13 21
OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT MOVIE
lacespace 8
Ah **** that's a good way to screw up your sexuality all together. You're now the girl who requires full scale STD test results before getting frisky. Which isn't actually a bad thing. Lessons learned, class dismissed?
shellz102 12
Don't have sex. You will get pregnant. And die
jpest17 5
At least she won't have kids easily now, she will have to pay 10,000 to get it artificaly implanted due to scarred Fallopian tubes.
Blue329 15
Atleast you will have a funny/messed up story to tell when you are older
cliffibom 15
I would rather not get chlamydia at all and spare the story
MissMae93 23
How is that funny? "Yeah I lost my virginity then got the clap." Hilarious?
WritingWrongs 8
"...and you were conceived just afterwards, and thats how mommy got the clap." *kid's jaw drops to the floor*
gc327072 31
99/ that reminds me of that part of scary movie "And son that's why you pee up instead of down."
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Luckily, chlamydia is very curable. Use condoms from now on, every time you have sex.
KittahMonster 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm pretty sure condoms don't stop anyone from getting std's.
torbey 23
If anything OP is lucky that she realised that she had contracted it so that it can be treated. Sometimes chlamydia goes untreated because the symptoms aren't obvious. If it is left untreated it can cause infertility in females. Consider yourself lucky OP! Although FYL for the circumstances.
torbey 23
36- I've heard that condoms aren't a 100% protection against STD's, too.
DocBastard 40
They aren't 100% effective, but they are the best protection we have available (short of abstinence, of course).
FMLKitten 15
36- Condoms are the ONLY birth control method to stop you from getting STDs when used. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to learn this in Sex-Ed around middle school. But as Doc said, it's not guaranteed.
ChristineAnn58 8
Are you a complete retard or did you mom drop you on your head as a baby? Wow.
MisterEx 28
Everyone please excuse the off topic. 38- your nickname is the exact same way my last name is spelled. Are you my overseas forgotten cousin?!
MissMae93 23
36 - I'm worried that at 27 year old, you still believe condoms don't help in protecting you from contracting an STD/STI. Did you skip all your health classes in high school, per chance?
trevishere 7
My school doesn't have Sex-Ed in our curriculum. Thus the reason we have a 14 year old pregnant freshman. I'm so proud of my school.
torbey 23
72- my name is a slight variation from my real name (torbet.) So, unfortunately no. But that would be awesome finding out something like that this way!
Drigr 9
Makes you wonder if she used a condom. This FML is missing that part. Did miss nerdy girl go and lose her virginity having unprotected sex? Cause at that point, I would have to make a hard decision on YDI or not..
simonsaysYDI 8
98 - Ahh well even schools with it end up with that. We didn't have sex-Ed until our Sophomore year, so 15/16, had like 4 pregnant Freshman when I was a Senior, was absolutely appalled. We also had girls get pregnant after taking the course sooo, some people just can't be helped.
AvaCharlie 6
Are you stupid?
Clioo_fml 17
36- Learn some more, then comment.
lacespace 8
Condoms are a pretty neat invention I would invest in as well, for futures sake op.
tygerarmy 35
I saved 15% on my child support payments by switching to condoms!
gc327072 31
Who doesn't want 15% more cash?!?! Oh right, that stubborn baby over there... -___-
143dav 8
At least it isn't Gone.. Gonorrhea. Yea it was a bad joke and I should feel bad.
Airman1988 9
Don't be a fool wrap his tool
the_anti_hipster 7
If you're going to get silly, wrap your willy. Cuz Chlymidia is out there...and it burns. So I've heard.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
No glove no love
Kn0wledge123 21
Only you can prevent genital warts.
dloo3a 1
hmm so you've heard eh ;)
DocBastard 40
Congratulations on finally getting screwed! Twice.
IscoreOnU 19
In 1 go!
Zoh_Aubrey 8
At the same damn time.
pbonham 22
I was in such a bad mood and now I'm not so thank you for making me happy by sharing your misfortune :)
onlychildFTW 34
That's pretty horrible to say. Jeez. Poor girl.