Today, while I was brushing my teeth, my 5 year old-son walked into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That's Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I've been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pointy130 0
Dogs mouths are cleaner than humans. just get a new toothbrush, no problem. still disgusting though
flyboy57 0
you have a smart kid. he may have just punk'ed you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
flyboy57 0
you have a smart kid. he may have just punk'ed you.
Zhejan 0
You've been brushing your teeth for tooth months? What a coincedence
GreenMeanie 0
and are your teeth still there? yes, so shut the **** up.
giganticbrain 0
Agreed.
bob1233 0
god. stfu #18. dont be such a bitch. if you used the dog's toothbrush, you'd be mad too.
thatonekid2010 0
OMG i moderated this!!! i feel so special and loved! :D MLIA!! (my life is amazing!!)
fmlfmlfml15 0
Hey a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's mouth. This is a dog's fml, not yours.
brainiac94 0
I agree ^
hanoha 0
a dog has the cleanest mouth in the world. u shud be happy
debbtennis 0
You are an idiot. YDI and FYL for being an idiot and being a bad influence on your son.
nothanksimgood 0
How is he being a bad influence on his son? By accidentally using the wrong toothbrush? I don't understand your logic.
Sun_Kissed18 25
There is no logic with trolls...
RubixMonkey 0
Trolls don't even have tooth brushes.
Lucidium 0
You're mesmerizing Rubix. Ha.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
Oh my god.. I think I would have to chop my head off D: fyl.
yuhhkno 0
pretty sure you throw a toothbrush away after a month yuhh nastyy!!!!!
sportzpassion 0
question.....why us ur dogs toothbush ...in the same place as yours ? his should be under the sink or something ....yu deserved that one srry
gorgeousxbaby 0
i hope you yelled at him for brushing the dogs teeth with YOUR toothbrush . get the dog a special one .. yuckk .
Pointy130 0
Dogs mouths are cleaner than humans. just get a new toothbrush, no problem. still disgusting though
riplikethat 0
How many times must I tell you? Stop using your dog to pleasure yourself, clean or not..
heyyou1203 0
ooo i got one... it's not cheating if you cover your balls with peanut butter and have your dog lick it off. you get it?? because it's YOUR dog!! Road trip reference anyone?? and yea, dogs do have less bacteria in their mouths, so while the idea of it's pretty gross, it's not the worst thing in the world.
furubafan74 18
You do realize that dogs eat their own poop on occasion, right? There is no way that a creature that eats poop has a cleaner mouth than a creature that doesn't.
xxBAMFxx 0
Bahhahahahahahaha :p that freakin' hilarious. But you should really separarte peoples toothbrushes from the pet's toothbrush. But fyl.
ohnomama 0
I am guessing that the kid has been taking his father's toothbrush and using it to brush the dogs teeth.
Stacy1234 0
Maybe if you stepped up and took responsibility for your dog's well being, you would know which one is their toothbrush!
Darksect0r13 0
Well the dogs mouth is supposedly cleaner than yours >.>
plexico 4
Poor dog. Generally speaking, a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's, except in the moments following those times when a dog eats shit, licks its balls or ass or another dog's ass. At those times, their mouths are much dirtier. You've probably got a little bit of Sammy's balls in your mouth.
Sadae 0
LMFAOO @ #12
Witchcraft_fml 5
Don't pretend you don't let the dog give you kisses on your mouth. Anyway, the purpose of toothpaste is to eliminate germs. So unless you don't use any (in which you'd have problems beyond brushing behind the dog), you shouldn't really care.