Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Sharing is caring
Today, I found out I have herpes. I'm 9 months pregnant and have only been with my husband. It just so happens that our roommate just got over herpes. I thought they were just spending time together, bonding. FML
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Hang in there, man
Today, I found out I got HIV. I’ve used condoms with all my Tinder hookups and never shared needles or anything with anyone. I was supposed to have a Tinder date tonight. Guess I’ll just be single forever then. FML
Wrap it up
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML
Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving.
AlaskanG 27
....probably because of signs of genital herpes....
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Comments (200)
Adam5858 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why did you feel you wanted to check that out?
AlaskanG 27
....probably because of signs of genital herpes....
Adam5858 17
Yeh....I just realised how thick my first comment was.Prepared for the negative votes.
mastamouse 12
You sir, are extremely stupid.
JJ_86 22
You sir are annoyingly rude.
incoherentrmblr 22
Dick in a box...
CurvyisCool 22
Did you try on a swimsuit without undies?
Generallp 3
oral counts
zandalee 20
Only if you take your teeth out first!
kewpiesuicide 29
It's true actually. If someone with a cold sore goes down on you, you can get genital herpes.
kissandcontrol01 20
Or if your mom had it when she gave birth to you. Sorry OP
FatherofTime87 18
Sucks
BassTurdo 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You can have sex sleep just like sleep walking BTW
Tylerpls 5
What the ****?
damnit1989 16
This is not a lie. I've had two boyfriends now that have tried to have sex with me while they were dead asleep. One got punched (ex), the other just ended up dry humping my leg and I laughed (current bf). So don't dismiss sleep sex. It is possible.
AninOnin 24
My BS radar is going crazy.
CTMPandemonium 16
#13 #28 It's actually real, it's called "Sexsomnia".
R3TROxLOV3 32
It actually isn't BS. You know how you've heard crazy stories about people who sleep walk or sleep drive, or appear completely functional while they're still asleep? The same concept applies here. It's not much of a jump to assume that if a person can drive in their sleep, it's totally possible for them to have sex in their sleep either.
eatmorewaffles 9
Wait. So you are saying that this girl could be a completely innocent librarian type girl while awake and turn into a sex crazed freak while she sleeps. That's kinda kinky.
PLLboyEmily 11
Guys guys guys, it's true. On Law & Order: SVU there was a guy who had it and accidentally raped his girlfriend's sister because his girlfriend wasn't there to stop him cause she was kidnapped. And he couldn't get charged because it's a medical disorder.
deedeedeniel 17
:O OMG really? That's really unfortunate :/
joeymo304 9
I wish I could extra thumbs up
jdreiner 11
Guys guys guys, it's totally true I saw it on TV. Is the stupidest thing I've heard in a while
Paco_el_Taco 17
Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving.
DArthurVaderian 18
This holiday season, give your friends the gift of herpes!
Chellec2013 28
Please don't.
Badman6969 10
If you get your friends and family herpes you don't have to worry about them sending it back, it will stick with them FOREVER!
ironichalibut 24
Thread jacking here, but I need to complain that not one person quickly made an "Immaculate Infection" joke.
Mandybruin 15
I considered it, #11, but I just couldn't do it. Some things I just can't joke about.
Ancient_Mirage 14
The gift so nice, he gave it twice!
Lebeaugars95 20
Well, at least now you're eligible to be in the genital herpes commercials OP
shudson186 17
I can just see it "were you a Virgin like myself? Did you end up with an STD like Gentile Herpes?! Well we have the solution for you come on down to so and so drugstore." Poor OP!
qwertsarecool122 23
I won't let genital herpes slow me down! -White Chicks.
Sabsnation 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You can actually get gential herpes from using a toilet after someone else who carries the STD.
Respect101 17
I am never using another toilet again..... I'm going back to digging holes....
Psychicgirl17 18
#51 that is total bull. u need direct skin to skin contact to get herpes. u can't get it from a toilet seat
Axipiter 24
Toilet seats have actually been proven to be one of the least likely things in a bathroom to infect anyone with anything.
MadisonDerp 16
Like Sam Winchester!! :DD Take some Herpexia, OP
thatoneninjadude 14
Not true #62 you can get almost any STD from a public restroom. It's been proven.
beehardxcore 26
Gentile herpes are the opposite of Jewish herpes, right? :) Love that autocorrect. Have my thumbs up.
Preposterous 8
Just a question #89, what does STD stand for? Actually, just the S. (Hint: SEXUALLY)
Syruphs 17
#110 so if you have herpes and I don't and we both cut out finger and I touch my cut with your cut I won't get a disease off of you because we aren't having sex? Sorry but that's just plain stupid like to only think that STDs are transmitted through sex only.
jackycat 17
Herpes isn't transmitted that way. You're thinking of HIV. Herpes virus is localized to nerves and skin.
Syruphs 17
#116 I apologize for not looking into that but either way sex is not needed to transmit an STD.( not directed at you)
10th_Man 16
We'll if you would let the guy stand the **** up and finish using the toilet before you take a flying ass-leap at the toilet you might quit dragging a bunch of nasty shit home. Just sayin....
titandesu 14
"hi i'm Sam winchester and i have genital herpes"
Levvy 22
#110: I guess you're probably baffled as to why blood banks don't let people with HIV donate. Hey, it's an STD, so that means it's the ONLY way it's transmitted, right? Good thing you're so much smarter than the entirety of the global medical community!
Psychicgirl17 18
#89 you are a total idiot. I hope your kind doesn't breed or worse spread STDs from ignorance and not paying attention in sex ed
daisylokes 16
a read an article the other day about a woman who got herpes bc she ate a mc chicken with semen, infected with herpes...
MemeriGoesRawr 8
Actually, no you can't.
Binda33 4
I don't think that HIV is technically an STD. It can be transmitted by blood or genital contact whereas most STI's (STD's) are only via sexual contact. Chances are that the Herpes was transmitted during oral sex or via foreplay or solo play/touch.
GamerG0DDESS 29
Actually, #51 is correct. It shocked me and I thought it wasn't possible as well; but, there is a possibility. It's very unlikely and requires a time eligibility. If someone had an open sore on their lower bits and some of the virus/disease/etcetera is on the surface, one who sits down on such a surface within seconds has a chance of contacting it if they too had an open wound. The chances are extremely unlikely but it isn't impossible. I always wait 15 seconds before sitting on a public toilet if I had cut myself from shaving or something.
avengers1214 18
I was hoping I saw a comment like this!
sunnyray812 42
Maybe you could've gotten it by using a public toilet. I'm not sure if it's actually true, but maybe it's a possibility.
Farmillionaire 8
You're really dumb.
sunnyray812 42
I was just saying maybe. By my down votes, it's probably not even possible, but that's for saying I'm dumb just because I might've gotten something wrong.
sunnyray812 42
*thanks
honeymoonroyale 20
.
honeymoonroyale 20
(Woops sorry. Down vote me for my glitchy phone.)
gabbywalliscool 5
Hey I used to think that everybody thinks something and it turns out to be wrong people who down vote that know they get stuff wrong but they want to think they are better when honestly they are even a little worse cause they are being total hypocrites
ViciousClarity8 9
You're an Asshole..
RedPillSucks 33
@67 WTF?!!
laden_swallow09 35
67- USE PUNCTUATION. Really, it helps the rest of us understand you.
Ggeeoorrggiiaa 4
tecnically you can, if they were to put their bits on the seat then you put your bits on the same seat it could be transfered very unlucky though
Cas88 8
@67 I think it's trying to communicate with us...
melissamitts22 7
No, it's almost impossible to contract it this way... It is possible, however, to give it to oneself if you have a coldsore, touch the coldsore, and rub your junk...
sk1tt135 22
You actually can't get genital herpes from a toilet seat, viruses need a living host to survive.
tigerisabelle 31
Man that sucks. All pain, and no gain. FYL OP!
chinaski7628 32
I think OP did gain something...
peacefully84 19
From what I remember, you can actually get it by having a cold sore on your face (herpes 1), and picking/scratching at it, and then touching your genitals without washing your hands (causing herpes 2). So, in that way, you can get it from yourself. If you get cold sores anyway.
kumarina 35
Actually now the you can have herpes 1 in your genitals and 2 in your mouth, so now you just say herpes because the symptons are the same
sated_child 16
HSV1 and HSV2 are two different herpes strains. Yes, you can get them in any mucosal area, or even on your skin. But you can not have type 1 on your mouth, touch your bits and instantly have type 2. You would have HSV1 on your genitals if that were the case and vice versa for type 2. So either can occur practically ANYWHERE on the body, it just prefers all those soft bits that we don't enjoy it on. Also, ever heard of herpes zoster? That's shingles people. Please educate yourselves before giving this poor person incorrect information. OP has enough to worry about.
kumarina 35
That's not what I meant, what I was talking is the fact that type one is not limited to mouth or the upper part of your body, you can have genital herper and be type 1 or 2, not like what was rhought about genital herper being only type 2, also zoster is type 3 herpes, which is totally different that the type 1 and 2....
WildJubeJube 16
Yeah I get vile sore quite often tbh so thx for telling me not like I would tho about the last part
parism143 28
Actually, #58, you can get type 2 herpes from yourself. As long as the liquid inside the cold sore is exposed to your genitals. I wrote a thousand-word research paper about herpes, trust me.
glabberfasted 16
61 - There is no herpes type 3. Herpes Zoster is Shingles.
tennischamp5 7
There are 8 Herpes Viruses. HHV1 and HHV2 are probably the ones causing the op's problems. HSV3 is Varicella Zoster Virus HSV4 is Epstein-Barr Virus (Mono) HSV5 is Cytomegalovirus (Mono) HSV6 is Roseola HSV7 is uh... Idk lol HSV8 is Kappsi Sarcoma (in AIDS patients) The more ya know ;)
clair_brodie 35
Cytomegalovirus is NOT mono.
olpally 33
Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, except for herpes, that shit will come back with you. Lol, get better soon.
Farmillionaire 8
Baby Momma's and Daddy's come back from vegas also.
glabberfasted 16
Get better soon? You do realize there is no cure for Herpes, right?...
MAD01502 20
You should see somebody about that! It can have serious consequences!!
ShowMeKay 20
Pretty sure OP found out it was specifically genital herpes by seeing a doctor..
nerdychicreader 15
She already did.... that's how she figured it out.