Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, as a gynecologist, I’ve spent years telling people to be safe during sex. I should have known better, but I let my vagina do the thinking for me in a moment of weakness, had a meaningless anonymous one night stand, and I'm now pregnant and positive for chlamydia. FML
Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML
Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
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Top comments
FMLKitten 15
At your age, you're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. Well don't, because if you do, you will develop chlamydia. And die.
syki 22
Maybe we should slow clap.
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Comments (131)
KaiserSD 8
Just be thankful it wasn't something permanent, and wear a damn condom next time.
KittahMonster 20
Condoms wont stop you from getting std's. So I don't get why people are suggesting them as if they are going to prevent them. Condoms can only "help". And its not very good or even much help either. There really is not a safer option to protect yourself from std's other than not screwing random men.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Err what??? Where were you during health education class? Condoms are the only thing that will prevent you from getting STD’s during sexual intercourse, if correctly used and not damaged. Ask any doctor. Besides it might not have been a random guy but her current boyfriend, so don't judge.
ajnorma 16
Condoms are 99.6 percent effective.
TalkCrazy47 7
Many men/women have STDs and have no idea that they do (no symptoms or any sign until testing). This is called being asymptomatic. One of the number one recommended ways of preventing the contraction of diseases and infections from sexual intercourse is the proper use of condoms. The second is refraining from intercourse. The only way to completely prevent STDs is by the latter, and that is in any form including oral. Or getting you and your partner tested before intercourse/sexual relations begin. So the lesson here is you have 4 choices: don't have sex, have sex without proper testing and risk it, have sex after proper testing and be safe, or use a damn condom properly!
DocBastard 40
Ajnorma - Not exactly 99.6%. Against gonorrhea they are about 90% effective and for chlamydia it's about 60%. Not great, but better than nothing!
Mandybruin 15
So that info about condoms being 99.9% effective against STDs was a lie?? Dang it, public education!!
ruthlessmofo 0
This is taking me back to freshman year in high school ..lol they definitely help stds a lot. DON'T BE SILLY WRAP YOUR WILLY!
twiztedone 19
That's pretty much an uneducated response! 99.9% effective on not getting an STD or STI!
ajnorma 16
60%? That's very worrying. I was always told condoms are at least 98% effective. However I'm not an expert on condoms.
ImACat_fml 7
Condoms are 99.6% effective for preventing pregnancy. That parts right.
GregoryStalver_fml 6
If you want to dip it, you'll have to wrap it.
MalloryKnox 8
I'm sorry.. I don't respond to motivational pro-condom slogans if they don't rhyme properly.
KiddNYC1O 22
You got to lick it, before you kick it!
MalloryKnox 8
Now that really speaks to me! Much better.. I'm suddenly compelled to go buy some condoms!
Kade20 4
I am so sorry. I understand that you want your first time to be special, even if your college age. But condoms are a good choice at least until you get in a relationship and know about them enough to know if they have std's or not. your lucky it could have been A LOT Worse.
dakada52 1
We call that meme bad luck Brian
AngelicTide 11
Condoms...wear them. -_-
yousuck44 11
I love your profile pic
perdix 31
The story isn't over. Maybe in 9 months, there will be a baby, and you can name it Pearl . . . Or Chlamydia.
kirdypie 14
Do they not have condoms in America?
Patts_fml 4
Nope, we just use discarded Twinkie wrappers instead. That is, of course, if we can even spare the energy of getting off of our motorized scooters long enough to have sex. /sarcasm
KogMaw 6
Guys, awkwardly this is one of the STD's where condoms don't always work. I know this because I've been there, and it's not a nice feeling knowing you've tried to do everything right, yet you still get ****** over... So give her a break.
SgtCervantesusmc 0
that's what I call a sticky situation
challan 19
yup! She had the mess land right on her face.
nrelavender 10
Ew. That gave me the grossest image. *insert disgusted face*