Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
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Top comments
Midrash 5
Your nuts...
SkoomaKi 28
Expect that when your getting real head. Never rush a woman. I wish I could have sex dreams, if only I had imagination...
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Comments (98)
Zomg_Okay 27
I'm not sure if I should cringe in sympathetic pain or laugh until my sides split.
perdix 31
How hard were you going to push that poor girl's head down? If you're going to bop her that hard, you don't deserve to have a beautiful girl suck you off. You deserve a girl with jagged teeth, a furry tongue and chapped lips (all of them.)
BrysGirl27 14
AhHahahah a furry tongue? That's hilarious!:) but your right even if it was a dream he shouldn't rush her
wetFeline 3
Ok
izzy7 11
Couldn't have said it better.
unknown_user5566 27
Perdix- No kidding! If my husband tried to push me down with that much force, he'd be getting a nice punch in the face. Calm down, OP... you're not the star of a hardcore porno.
jizzwold 21
But he is the star of a dream where he can do anything. I've killed people with my dick in dreams haha doesn't mean I'd do it in real life. It's just a dream.
Discombobulated9 12
I agree that any guy who treats a girl like that doesn't deserve one and vice versa. However, this is a dream where you do a lot of crazy things you would never normally do in real life. It's your imagination where you can do whatever the heck you want without consequences. My point is, I think people are judging OP too harshly based on a dream- I bet we've all dreamt some crazy stuff we wouldn't do in reality.
whosindahouse 9
Id take anything at this point.
unknown_user5566 27
128- I don't think anyone is seriously judging. Not in this thread, at least. :)
whosindahouse 9
Sorry. My comment came WAY after I thought It would.
dissention 4
It really doesn't take much force at all to feel pain from a hit to the nuts.
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Hopefully you get another chance, but even the dream girl won't be happy that you tried to push her head down that hard. At least your balls got it instead of a real girl. Just think of it as a lesson to be more gentle.
nerdsgetmehot 23
You probably shouldn't push a girls' head down in real life when she's giving you head unless you want to choke her.
sailorzoe 14
Word. And that's ******* rude.
jeremy4719 0
That's part of the fun.. choking her with a hard dick lol
ManInTheMachine 20
35-I can practically smell the virginity emanating from your comment....not strong enough to smell like jackass, but not weak enough to be douchebag.
jackassiddy 8
*sniffs self* :(
downtime 13
37, I hope you're right, but it sure sounds like he's trying to compensate for a lack of size, or lacks any form of empathy. Nothing worse than a self involved idiot with a tiny dick trying desperately to compensate.
dixiefoxx 22
Smooth, just smooth. Look at it this way, though, at least you had a good dream, but yeah, YDI
jaredofmo 22
Ow, but hey, you did it to yourself. Unintentionally...
Unbweavable 17
Sounds like you haven't been getting any
megaboo310 4
Yeah sexy
MarianneDashwood 0
Well at least you had some please before the pain
Dodge4x4Ram 46
did she swallow? that's the only good kind