Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
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Top comments
Midrash 5
Your nuts...
SkoomaKi 28
Expect that when your getting real head. Never rush a woman. I wish I could have sex dreams, if only I had imagination...
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Comments (98)
DUBSTEP_WUB_WUB 1
Ouch.... But look at the bright side you can still dream of dubstep
eddyg94 11
I can't believe that so many people are YDI-ing OP for his thoughts/actions in a dream. I'm pretty sure I've killed people in dreams, let alone commit a mildly controversial sex act.
downtime 13
I know everyone is saying that people do things they wouldn't usually do when dreaming, but a few points, 1. It doesn't sound like this was unusual to him from the way this was worded. 2. Usually when you're getting physically involved in the dream you tend to be only half asleep (in my experience - not sure about anyone elses) and so you tend to be more rational. It just seems like this is something he does anyway, dreaming or otherwise. I may be completely wrong on this, but I thought I'd offer the reasoning from someone who clicked YDI.
GearHeadJonny 0
LOL thats sucks
taybabyxo 0
I just died at this.
acid_moose 7
Why so many YDIs? He's committed thought crime?
nerdsgetmehot 23
#83 No, but he did punch himself in the balls.
acid_moose 7
Yes. When he was DREAMING. Unless this guy was lucidly dreaming, which I highly doubt, I don't see how this could have been his fault. And a load of morons are saying YDI for being horrible to the girl, I seriously hope your joking, as it was a DREAM. What you dream does not entail how you act in real life. Why are there so many complete morons in the world?
nerdsgetmehot 23
#103 He still punched himself in the balls. And like I said, I didn't say YDI for treating a woman badly in a dream. I just said he punched himself in the balls, and no one else can really take credit for that. He didn't deserve it, obviously.
curlygirly1 8
Well aren't you one smart cookie.
lukep135 6
You're all telling him ydi you should never do that to a woman in real life...are you guys joking?? It was just that a dream and nothing more, I've had crazy hardcore sexy dreams ( thank you Jesus) that I would never attempt in real life
nerdsgetmehot 23
I said that he deserved it because he punched himself in the balls...No one else did that. :P And I also said he shouldn't do that in real life, but I was half-joking as I know that it was really just a dream. I didn't say YDI because he had the dream.
ryad69 0
Lolz 93. THANK YOU JEsUs! U lucky S.O.B.
lea3829 7
Lol tht sux......if u get my driftxD
gallir24 6
This reminds me of a dream I had when my balls were stuck between the molars of a hippopotamus. I woke up and realized that in my sleep I was clenching my balls at full force.
DedaGrotesque187 0
oh that's ******* great! Lmao
ryad69 0
Sucks to suck! Literally
lifes_a_b1tch 7
And I thought I had odd dreams... Thanks for the giggle :)
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Haaaaaaaa!!!! Talk about a rude awakening! May I suggest just rubbing her hair next time!