whoslade
United States
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Anonymous
Wakey Wakey!
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
LennyComa
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Secretlypossessed
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Anonymous
Sleep punching is a thing
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
ericane27
United States
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
randomguy
Saylorsburg, United States
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
sacked
United States
Wakey wakey
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
P0wned
France
Ouch!
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Top comments
kgurlswag 9
Am I the only one wondering why?!
SkoomaKi 28
Why? Who? Where? How? Why: You have no luck (hence the FML) Who: A turtle named Henry (the attacker) Where: Probably a bed of sorts How: Falcon punch by Henry's flipper. All questions answered.
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Comments (111)
kgurlswag 9
Am I the only one wondering why?!
reallytho3 11
Thts just how the ball bounces sometimes ya know...
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Sorry OP... Sorry... Uhm that was actually me - I was testing out my crotch-ing tiger ninja move....
FurryPride 9
Great alarm clock you have there. Where can I get one?
airforce987 20
Nothing says good morning like a punch in the balls!
romesh17fml 8
Well, you did wake up... Some fmls have that they didn't wake up and missed something
mylifesucks_fml 1
does anyone else feel like there may have been a reason to it that OP is leaving out just for sympathy?
ThisIsMyReign 4
That happened to me to wake up for warped tour. :(
jojimugo 20
Am with #1 This story is incomplete it's missing some crucial details
pokefan813 16
32 - at www.steralizeMe.com
sirsquab 12
Honestly, some things are funnier without context.
bernardbrown 7
Maybe "I got punched in the balls" is enough of an FML.
Thisismypchere 8
I hope this is ending up on YouTube!
Inheritance 10
This is Tosh.O shit right here OP!
ibenj 1
Oooh bollocks!
Inheritance 10
93 I think you mean ballocks
CaramelMacchiato 13
Ouch! Right in the baby maker D:
AlphaPrice 7
That's one way to wake up
Zachthejoker 10
No kids for you!
reallytho3 11
Good old fashioned birth control
icrest80 4
Yes, much more effective than IUD
mea_iloveskiing 26
No soup for you!
SkoomaKi 28
Why? Who? Where? How? Why: You have no luck (hence the FML) Who: A turtle named Henry (the attacker) Where: Probably a bed of sorts How: Falcon punch by Henry's flipper. All questions answered.
zachherbert 10
When?
JustKittyKat 24
Wonderful explanation! But, turtles do not have flippers. :P
zachherbert 10
He has a rare Balmasian Sea Turtle. It's the only explanation.
im_too_pro 2
Best comment in a long time! Captain falcon would be proud!
taboolovers 0
23- Sea turtles do.
ApologyKick 25
20- surprisingly, the FML actually does answer your question. Hence the "Today," all FMLs must follow.
thejuice1234 0
Wtf?
FML_Master2133 6
That has got to be pleasant. Maybe you should greet him with a punch to the face.
borkchop1992 15
I once created an alarm clock that woke you up that way, but i got arrested
MrFuzzles 5
I hope you retaliated as soon as your balls felt better.
PerfasarusRex 3
Today you woke up unable to have kids. Sorry bro.
Abbyybba 0
Nothing like bruised testicles to start the day.