Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
Today, my alarm rang just as I was about to have a wet dream with my husband. This is the closest I got to having sex in weeks. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
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Top comments
n1rvanat1zed 0
Your dreams are saving on your electricity bill, how is this a FML? I understand the whole "not being able to get laid" thing, but look at the brightside!
perdix 31
At least your dream was related to sex. It would have been weird if you woke up covered in your own baby batter after dreaming about NASCAR, fishing or power tools.
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Comments (43)
nam3 0
first
z411811 0
iPhone first. you pretty lame
n1rvanat1zed 0
Your dreams are saving on your electricity bill, how is this a FML? I understand the whole "not being able to get laid" thing, but look at the brightside!
PsYcHoSOADLaDy 0
Terrific Point!
i_heart_boobies 0
so true .. .and atleast it was **** .. .not brüno
FailBear920 19
maybe he got wet watching himself doing the five finger shuffle! O.0
Lkdude77 0
Lmfao thats actually HIlarious omg how does that happen?
ilikeu12 0
haha
perdix 31
At least your dream was related to sex. It would have been weird if you woke up covered in your own baby batter after dreaming about NASCAR, fishing or power tools.
redbluegreen 41
Or bacon. (;
perdix 31
Not Kevin, but maybe Sir Francis. Not that I'm gay, but I loooooooooove the Scientific Method.
redbluegreen 41
http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/2009053 Read. Melt. Love. Moan. Repeat.
perdix 31
I remember that one, and the with the girl whose bf was looking up bacon-wrapped recipes on his iPhone while making out. I noticed no one called "fake" on either, because bacon is just that good.
MrNewOrleans 0
I've had a wet dream about a crab eating a donut....
AlwaysWatching 27
....personal experience #6?
FAKEstfu 0
Way to suck at life.....seriously..... YDI. So how does it feel to be the biggest loser on FML?
head2133 12
Trololololol
stupiddumbblonde 0
Ewwie.
RFreedom 0
YDI for having that attitude
Metrick2 0
at least sum1 was gettin laid. lol