The key
Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
Today, I ran into my parents' bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door, my parents were on top of each other, laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They kept me locked me for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the house. I panicked so hard and immediately started kicking the door, desperate to get my keys. My boyfriend, who I forgot was staying over, woke up and opened the door right as I kicked it, and the door smashed into his face. FML
Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Oh dear. Awkward... What was your reaction? :3 Hopefully it didn't take long to find the keys. I wouldn't want to be in there for long. Or at all, actually.
fxdxhk90 0
Should have taken a few pics for blackmail purposes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Oh dear. Awkward... What was your reaction? :3 Hopefully it didn't take long to find the keys. I wouldn't want to be in there for long. Or at all, actually.
Rakayum 0
you said no..right?
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
And you replied to me because...? Your comment is totally unrelated to mine ._.
Zombierella 2
ummm no thats because stupid ***** like to comment to the first comment to get their pointless comment seen :D ...oh shit
Tobe_fml 0
Ahaha, similar thing happened to me. I'm so so sorry for you. XD -------- http://www.youtube.com/user/CynicalDyke
zeeky 0
i lol'd
sexymessy 0
Wahhh cry a river over someone leaving a reply to your comment. Why do you honestly care so much?
ilikepie789 0
i like pie
ryguy997 0
ummmmm... akward... atleast they have a healthy sex life =)
ryguy997 0
find the key and flush it down the toilet.
joqez 0
because people with pointless comments ruin it for people with comments which DO make sense by filling up the entire first pagez. on topic. ouch, that must've been a traumatic experience.
Leo518 0
like u...
wtftashaaa 5
How can two people be on top of each other and both be handcuffed? And how does the second person get handcuffed if the only other person in the room is already handcuffed... :l
Mryourlifesucks 0
your parents sicken me but sounds funny at the same time FYL
SarcasticSoviet 0
WOW. umm, your life sucks. unless you helped them out in such situations before, there is nooo way you deserved this one, haha.
ryguy997 0
I hurt a kid cuz my whole family is African and he called me a n*****.
telepathetic 0
fourth niggas. ew.
telepathetic 0
**** you moderators, how come i can say cracker all i want but i can't say nigga, I'm ******* black.
snocap12 0
PERSONALLY i think that no one should say stuff like that no matter what race....if its offending for a white person to say it then technically it should be JUST as offending for a black person to say it...your just insulting yourself. I saw some guys almost push a guy down a full set of bleachers at my school once because he happened to say that while singing along with a rap song...he didnt mean any insult but since it was already in the song by the singer he almost got very hurt....i think that is RIDICULOUS and hypocritical
JustSoLost 8
OMG EWW
flyboy57 0
your parents are freaks.
No_Heart 0
How are they freaks?
notzax 19
....in the bedroom!
jellyfish_ftw 0
and the lesson here is: don't grow up to be a bondage freak. :P
blake116 0
lol bondage is the most common fetish theres almost nothing creepy about it when its just handcuffs
ireply_w_lyrics 0
I think it would be more like suicide... "...Now I`m standing on the rooftop ready to fall (ready to fall) I think I'm at the edge now but I could be wrong I'm standing on the rooftop ready to fall..."
Intoxicunt 6
Hey lyrics guy. Here's a request: For this FML you should use Closer by Nine Inch Nails. Here's part of it: "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you Help me I broke apart my insides, help me Ive got no Soul to tell Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get Away from myself I want to f**k you like an animal I want to feel you from the inside I want to f**k you like an animal" Now do more stuff like that. In fact, you could just google the topic and use whatever songs come up on it. :]
ireply_w_lyrics 0
OMG THAT REMINDED ME OF THE GREATEST SONG IN HISTORY!!! "...You and me baby aint nothin but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel..." Though for future reference, i would prefer requests as messages so as to not clog up FMLs :)
AcesAndEights 0
#62, epic win for using Rise Against
Intoxicunt 6
But I wanted everyone to know it was MY idea lol. Alright, if I have any more, I'll message them to you.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
Mmk deal PS any requests do get credit at the bottomof my post anywho
jessxoxo28 5
ewww... i feel so bad 4 u...
ilikeboys 0
i hope to god you just ran out of the room and didn't actually stay in there and help them find them....... ugh. xp
EffYourLifee 0
YDI for having parents
Sophia93 0
lol ?
cl9595 0
everybody has parents. -.- you might as well say ydi for being born
zachbredberg 0
Agreed, OP should have killed them long ago.
bbychii 20
batman doesn't.... batman doesn't have parents