Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML
Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette
Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML
Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
No one is safe
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
Adding annoyance to almost injury
Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Top comments
owlfeatures 8
These teenage girls are getting more and more aggressive! Incredible...
zachherbert 10
Was she pregnant? Just like the past 10 FMLs involving pregos this week.
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Comments (197)
owlfeatures 8
These teenage girls are getting more and more aggressive! Incredible...
owlfeatures 8
What has this world come to!? Good thing that I'm on the "wining" crazy team ;)
doctorhook86 25
If you're on the wining team, then I must be on the dining team.
DreBeezy 9
It's the hormones. They're making them stronger. Pretty soon, they'll rule over us with an iron ******.
owlfeatures 8
Yes my favourite is Oeil de Perdrix 1996 Hahaha, I'm really no good at spelling ^^'
owlfeatures 8
It supposed to be "winning", thanks for pointing out my mistake 37 :) and my comment above is a joke by the way ;) Humour people, humour!
Dixbfloppin 11
Next thing you know, preteen girls will be lighting things on fire and toddler girls will throw stones at anybody walking by.
capper44 18
#23 same as i was thinking, means it not far when it will be only girls in mafia as well lol :p
doctorhook86 25
45/50: All good. Thanks for playing along :)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Be aggressive! B-E Aggressive! *shoots a bystander* Whoo!
owlfeatures 8
107 no problem ;)
GenaALazer 22
Was I the only one thinking about Friends?
rainbowglass 5
#60, in case you didn't know, it's already happening...
Tophatz98 5
Hopefully she didnt steal too much stuff from you
MDTeddy 13
Teenage girls these days are just so screwed up in the head.
Khariau 8
Are you implying women are weak...
SenorJose89 4
Your man card please sir.
nahgemoohc 17
Not your fault if she had a gun! Then you would have been up against a machine;p
IceColdSnow 11
How the hell does this even happen?
Lucious306 7
Did she have a weapon? If she didn't that's just embarrassing
wetFeline 3
No just a ******
Calyx_fml 22
She could shoot exploding dynamite tampons out of her ******.
zachherbert 10
That's her brothers job.
TormundGiantBane 3
+10000. This. It's inexcusable if she were not armed for you to have not at the very least bent her over your knee and tanned her ass. Personally I'm thinking broken limbs. Find your balls, son.
SerendipityRose 26
All teenage girls carry weapons... A mouth gun loaded with unreasonable bitchiness. It's very powerful & has been known to lay full grown adults on their ass. I should know, mine is always loaded & my dear Husband sports many a wound from it.
efemel94 7
Did she steal your science boy comic?
downtime 13
72, Except if she's built like a brick shit house she may simply have overpowered him. Unlikely, but possible.
sigrak0 10
Even if she did, it's still embarrassing.
False_Stupidity 42
I've learned from watching Austin powers (because all things are in the movies are real) that all girls are really fem-bots and have machine guns in their boobies so yes she was armed.
wetFeline 3
Lol you suck
Anita1023632 3
Amen
xXxIracebethxXx 14
^ Didn't realize FML was now a church.
wetFeline 3
I bet you feel ******* funny ^^
xXxIracebethxXx 14
I don't. I feel ******* hilarious, ASSHAT.
wetFeline 3
What is an asshat and where can I get one?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Misinterpreted Lyrics--Thanks For The Memories-Fall Out Boy: "But my AssHat is going bad..."
zachherbert 10
Was she pregnant? Just like the past 10 FMLs involving pregos this week.
MURIKKA 11
No based on the other FML's, if she was pregnant OP wouldnt have survived that robbery
sharpshooterben 13
Ya you don't mess around with pregnant women
rainer13 11
There's been an increase in pregnant woman in the past couple months, hence more FMLs involving them. They are the '50 Shades of Grey' babies.
xleanne_aLly 23
Haha yeaah. Or Magic Mike.. ;)
Inheritance 10
When girls are on their period all hell breaks lose, so that could be the problem OP.
Jdlove2 20
Grow balls
thisismeFMLing 0
and?
wetFeline 3
And then he punched himself in balls
GVirdi 11
6 he got mugged by a teenage girl, he doesn't have any
thisismeFMLing 0
I rape toilets
wetFeline 3
OP=quar
oh_the_karma 12
Well if she was armed then nothing to do but give her what she wanted. If not then that's just embarrassing and YDI!
onlychildFTW 34
Armed = let her mug you. Fist = keep your shit and bring her down
dankpotatoes 2
Those piggie tails are just so scary!
Sumalum 7
Some teenage girls are really scary..
perdix 31
Please tell me she threatened you with a large-caliber gun. If she had a pea-shooter or a knife, you're a wimp for not taking her down. On the other hand, she could be brandishing a ****** and some boobs. Those things have an amazing ability to extract money, etc. from grown men.
wetFeline 3
Yeah me and perdix would know. I got a lot of head at that high school but lost lots of money. Huh perdix
everydayFML2121 5
26, you have under 30 comments and perdix has over 13,500... You are not even worthy to compare yourself to him.
wetFeline 3
Wut r u goin 2 do bout it quar??? Me and perdix are best friends Holmes
_Oblivion_ 12
This asshat sounds like five year old callin everyone names and actin like some shit.
wetFeline 3
DONT EVER CALL ME ASSHAT AGAIN
_Oblivion_ 12
Lol this fuckwad is butthurt from bein called an asshat
SkoomaKi 28
wetFeline - Until you have been here for a long time and have earned the respect of many, you can be "best friends" with the other long running commenters. But for now, *whispers* go to your corner.
wetFeline 3
Evr remember gay_boii??? Yeah that's me. I run this shit
DocBastard 40
wetFeline - I assure you that the FML community will tire of your bullshit very soon. Well, there it is. We're all tired of your bullshit. Please go away now.
wetFeline 3
Gayboii will be avenged!!!!!! Along with boners
_Oblivion_ 12
Bahaha this kid is so full of his own shit. Did it ever occur to you that you might have had to change you account numerous times that no one wants you here? And by the way the only shit you ever did run was getting threads removed.
wetFeline 3
Man this oblivious guy up here is a real Debbie downer ... All you are!!!
SkoomaKi 28
Well wetFeline, it seems as though you have attracted most of the regular commenters to your stupidity. You have talent.
iamabamf 17
I'm sorry to ask, but this is a serious question...what does "quar" mean?
wetFeline 3
Do you guys feel special? Your communicating with someone from columbine high school :D
Kibaruto 33
58- am I the only one who clapped for him?
_Oblivion_ 12
He just loves negative attention, who in their right mind would name themselves gay boi
wetFeline 3
Perdix!! Help me!
MrFuzzles 5
No one is coming to your aid, you will burn for your asshattery.
twisted_cherub 14
Perdix, I have often used the boobs ploy without trying, but I've never mugged anyone with them. I'm not sure how: Swing them around until he's beaten enough to yield? But, yeah, if she wasn't heavily armed he deserves to hand over his man card...well, if that teenage girl didn't already take it along with his money.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#77 - CTFD, and get off your high horse, fucktard. You're not going to impress anyone on FML with what school you go to or who you used to be. So as wetFeline or gay_boii, no one is going to be bowing down to your inferiority. So sit your ass back down, you don't run shit.
wetFeline 3
Yeah I do
perdix 31
Leave Britney alone!!!!! I mean, wetFeline...sorry about that. Twisted, it's easier than that. Just swing 'em around for a while, bend over and give him a down-shirt view, then sweetly ask him for cash. He'll be so mesmerized that he'll hand over his wallet without his eyes leaving your cleavage.
Boob_fml 6
Looks like Columbine's education system is failing.
jackassiddy 8
wetfeline/ gay boii, I logged in just so that I could down thumb your comments into oblivion. Now I'm off in search of other horrendous comments you made so that I may thumb them down as well.
unknown_user5566 27
If her weapons were indeed boobs and a ******, they must have been below par. From my experience, a nice set of "weapons" allows women to extract whatever they want from men without violence. ;)
twisted_cherub 14
My comment from earlier got deleted, which I don't understand since I wasn't part of that whole argument. To reiterate: Perdix, I've been given things because of my boobs, but I don't know how I'd even go about "mugging" someone with them. Also, if she wasn't armed OP definitely deserves revocation of his man card. Unless the teenage girl already took it from him :)
perdix 31
#130, and I'll reiterate my response, more or less: You swing those things around and bend over to give him a down-shirt look. Then, ask him sweetly for some cash and he'll hand you his wallet without taking his eyes off your cleavage. After you leave without showing him anything more, the swelling will go down and he'll find his wallet missing. When the blood returns to his brain, he'll realize he was mugged by your boobies.
noisebox 1
Don't forget the co co butt factor too..,
twisted_cherub 14
I guess I'd call that persuasion rather than mugging. When I think of mugging, I think of violence. Even if I did hit a guy with my boobs, they're too soft to hurt him. But I get what you mean.
MCRaddict15 15
That's absolutely crazy. You would think teenage girls would have more class than that. OP, maybe take a self defense class or try MMA. Good luck!
Octwo 16
It doesnt matter how well he can defend himself. Society will decree he is automatically at fault if he hits a teenager, let alone a girl.
MCRaddict15 15
He doesn't have to hit her. He can grab her wrists or something. I was just trying to say he should be a little more careful.
galacticstorm 6
no matter what he does he will either be scolded for fighting back(cause heaven forbid he actually try and act in self defense no matter what gender attacked him) or he will be laughed at for being mugged by a girl.It's a no win situation I this screwed up society imo.
jkmartinjk 16
@ MCRaddict15: Teen age girl? Class? The same sentence? Unheard of.