Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML
Freudian intensifies
Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML
Freud would have field day
Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams, the one person I've met in my life that I could see myself spending the rest of it with, told me she loves me. She then specifically added "...but not in that way, so we could never be together." FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Do you remember?
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Woah
Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML
Top comments
alazae 0
; Lmao, that's upsetting xD
WallyTheWombat 0
Can't just tell him to get game and treat women the way they want to be treated. Women want so many different things. Some want to be treated with respect, some like getting walked over, some like to be treated as an equal, some want to be treated like they are better than anyone. The list goes on and all it boils down to is experience.
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Comments (228)
alazae 0
; Lmao, that's upsetting xD
BossDavyy 0
There is so many things wrong with your sentence it's not even funny.
panda2love3 5
i think that's why it's on FML?
imacreeper 3
i was going to make a joke out of this FML but damn...there's nothing funny about this. it's very sad. very, very sad.
holymolybro 0
Sims 3, ftw... Although, that might not go your way either, OP.
humzizzl3 0
dudee that's incredibly sad
spazmattic 0
your subconscious is telling you something.
netherflame 0
Actually it is a known phenomena to people who have no past experience in something to not be able to simulate those things while dreaming due to lack of knowledge about how it feels. Same thing goes for sex. I'm actually familiar with this as more or less the same thing as what OP experienced has happened to me too. However I was able to go through all phases of sexual progress in my dreams once I got used to the feeling of making out. With that said, not so uncommon, but certainly not fun to experience and definitely a FML.
humzizzl3 0
64 shut the hell up dude, no one wants to read your essay
YacL 15
I wouldn't make a Sim of your crush, she might run away and go with another guy.
freddyisepic 2
i read it
BraBrando 0
I hate falling in my dreams. It literally feels like my stomach is imploding.
KiddNYC1O 22
I dreamed that 4 of my co-workers were sucked in by a commercial jet engine and came out the other end in pieces. I never made out who they were. What does that mean?
BraBrando 0
95, ever consider being a pilot? I think that's what your dream is telling you. Just don't fly with your co-workers..
modelmefamous 0
95, you've actually seen all of these people in your life, you just don't remember. you couldve seen them in the mall once or somewhere else. op, I'm pretty sure I saw an Fml like this one before, you're not alone. :)
Miss_Michaela 10
So, if I girl turns you down and says 'In your dreams' you can reply.. "Not even then"..
ericownz101 0
i had a dream one time where i was on a bus and it crashed and i watched a piece of metal cut me in half in slow motion. It was weird because it was like i was watching it all happen from above the bus. Then after i died i talked to god O.o
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, I do work with airplanes...
sephoraprincess 7
hah, in yoour dreams! oh wait...
LOLbomb 1
Damn it. All my dreams involve the same thing - falling and spitting out all my teeth.
KiddNYC1O 22
173- I spit out my teeth in dreams too, it's really eerie.
Jujuto1 0
173-I ALWAYS have dreams about my teeth falling out..what does it mean? Waking up after those dreams suck too-I automatically reach up to touch my teeth and have punched myself in the mouth numerous times
promarkchris 6
You should try sex panther
shawtieee 0
My mother has dreams like that too 173. She said that everytime that happens, it means that someone she knows/seen before is hurt or dies... it's really sad because everytime she dreams that... it's true... o;
minecraft_fml 4
that sucks ass
kemando 22
looks like somethings creeping under your skin
Tyler_Allen 0
dude me too i thought i was the only one!
Tyler_Allen 0
i mean the stomach imploding
sk8rchick97 0
L-O-S-E-R who's the loser u are!!!!:D
thepunman 11
We
MintyDeath 0
that sucks man!
Music_Is_Life101 0
He wishes she did.
Lespaulluapsel 0
you've got fatt boobs ew
thenewguy21 0
108. lol yah.
iSitt 0
sounds like an episode of Red Dwarf
MikalaHart 4
Ouch... Maybe get some game?
astana_fml 0
fff
MikalaHart 4
Or he can just learn how to treat women the way they want to be treated (my definition of game) and have something that means more than just getting laid.
TylersMB 0
haha someone needs to buy some game. lok
WallyTheWombat 0
Can't just tell him to get game and treat women the way they want to be treated. Women want so many different things. Some want to be treated with respect, some like getting walked over, some like to be treated as an equal, some want to be treated like they are better than anyone. The list goes on and all it boils down to is experience.
anorexicbarbie 8
43 is very right.
TylersMB 0
just treat them the way they want to be treated.
Epilepsy_fml 0
Guys it's really not that hard to get a girl at all. Especially just to ****. It's called confidence...
Calyx_fml 22
Confidence is the result of the repeated experience of success. You cant really be confident doing anything until you have experienced some success doing it. Thats the catch 22. You kind of have to fake it till you make it.
KiddNYC1O 22
Game is expensive.
TheBigWaffle 6
I'm a guy, and I agree to a certain extent, having "game" should mean you nice to the point where everyone likes you
Jacksparrow72 21
Dick, but that's funny yet messed up. Haha
FNFPhilly 0
okay okay okay....Just get 'game' over night? look I'm not saying I'm unsuccessful but I will tell you that when a girl says she wants a guy who treats her with respect *not implied at any one person* they are full of shit...been there done that most of the time if your nice and respectful and honest with a girl and give her what she wants and you mean it you get shoved in the friend zone...either become an asshole player or find some other means because Based off personal experiences chivalry isn't worth anything these days which is a shame..
TheBigWaffle 6
yeah I let one get into the friend zone...she calls me her "brother from another mother"
dudeitsdanny 10
^The key is to be a good guy, not a nice guy. Find the difference, and you won't have as much trouble getting girls to like you.. Sometimes you'll fail, sometimes you'll attract girls you're not interested in.. And sometimes you'll attract someone you never thought you could get =) I say this often on here, everytime there's a post like this.. And some guys will never understand the difference between nice and good.. And you'll likely keep failing until you do. Girls don't want an asshole boyfriend.. But they don't want a doormat, either.
chaoticnh 0
totally agree with u 123 respect and kindness gets you on the fast track to the dreaded friend zone
FNFPhilly 0
mmm ^^ noted...haha but yea I was raised with chivalry and not that I want praise or or people to kiss my feet but it's completely ignored unless I'm having dialouge with an adult or persay I open a door for an adult....but other than that it's ignored anyways I guess I will stop ranting sorry y'all thanks for listening
fmlallthetyme 23
In response to 3/32 MikalaHeart: I'm so glad that you, a 15 year old, has the experience and knowledge to try and educate others about how to get girls, what game is, and getting laid. Future of America right there.
MikalaHart 4
Haha wow... I was just stating my opinion. I'm sorry that what I think will make our next generation so terrible. What you said was pretty unnecessary, and low. From that comment, im sure that my generation wont miss ignorant people like you.
MikalaHart 4
Oh, and 206, thanks for taking the time to read my description to see my age to make your little comment
chili10 18
143, I disagree with the statement girls want protection and to feel safe. most girls I know just want a good support system. you know? someone that we can trust, that will be there for us? and speaking from experience I think the idea that girls want jerks is a misunderstanding. jerks can be very convincing sometimes and they will say and do anything to get what they want. some girls are just naive and believe it.
ShelbyyCakess 0
I bet you could if you tried hard enough.
MikalaHart 4
I don't think a guy should try hard to get laid, he should try hard to find a girl that likes him
kiaralove53 0
Or paid enough?
KotaLovesCookies 2
LOL, You funny girl. About 1/10000 Guys, care about girls. o.O
hedgerow 0
Trying harder is called 'rape'.
MikalaHart 4
37, yeah I know... but if this guy really wants to get "laid" he has a better chance if he treats the girl the right way
Truth_Nazi 0
Some people just can't get a girl (me)
Epilepsy_fml 0
Mikala. I'm sorry sweetheart but if a guy wants to get "laid" he isn't looking for a relationship, he is looking to go to a party, get stinking drunk, talk to a gurl and **** like a wild animal. (And being good at sex is really hard if you're that drunk).
FNFPhilly 0
38- are you a guy or a girl? because just about every guy I'm friends with respects women and actually care about them me included in that group you can say it's just my cirlce but it's not, just the people you see on those fake 'reality' shows are assholes all the time don't get me wrong there are actually people like that just not as many as you think
Lil_Red777 21
saying he wants to get laid doesn't mean he doesn't respect women it just means he isn't getting any and wants to change. You can't tell me that if a guy is interested in a girl and that girl offers it up that any guy would turn her down
simonisnotacat 4
why try? from the pic, it looks like you do...
nikkibear123 4
lol agreed
xoxolinxox 2
She'll come someday OP, She'll come.. :)
HugoBosss_fml 0
she means that in two ways ;)
haha1494 0
win^^
SuperAnthony 7
Pff, in his dreams. Oh wait...
Truth_Nazi 0
For some people, she won't.
hook_em 0
they'll come if you build it
kittykat1501 31
You missed out on a perfectly good pun. I'm disappointed
franticravyn 7
sad... FYL.
ThisGi 0
that sucks
bandgirrl 9
dude, bummer.
BossDavyy 0
If you play some more Runescape you'll be ok
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
or word of Warcraft
Stonedmanalex 0
Thank a journey into the Words of Warcraft where you brutally insult your opponents
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
I meant world** im on an iPhone, and guess what, they gave an auto corrector, don't be assholes
Zombieslayer1 0
Hahaha! 62 my iPod does that to me all the time and it sucksXD
Jacobt24 19
I turned that option off on mine. Settings>General>Keyboard
GreenMaze 0
I control my dream
currychicken 4
'world' won't auto-correct into 'word' if you spelt it right the first time.
JokinglySerious 0
someones on their period
GriZzliie 3
the currychicken is right!! and why do you have the spell check on anyways?... :/
BossDavyy 0
Hey spellcheck saved me three times in this sentence literally oops five
sabrinahusic 0
lol every time I type ooops it suggests poops :P
ant1078 7
I guess it was a nightmare then