Today, I ordered Chinese and told them I was allergic to eggs. I took a bite and I found some egg, quickly spat it out and took my antihistamines. When I returned with it and complained about my potential demise, they gave me a free orange to apologise. I'm allergic to oranges. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at my work in a self-service chinese restaurant, a lady came up to me, pointed to the plate she loaded with honey king prawns, and yelled at me because she was allergic to seafood. She demanded a refund and another plate. Everything is clearly labeled. FML
Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML
Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, my aunt asked me to babysit my cousin. She gave me a warning that he says he's allergic to foods to get out of eating them. When I brought out my homemade cooking, he told me he was allergic, so I made him eat it anyway. Turns out he WAS allergic. FML
Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bloosummers 6
bet you weren't eggcited about the oranges
drayloon 50
They only gave you a free orange for almost killing you? They may as well have given you an extra fortune cookie
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (63)
bloosummers 6
bet you weren't eggcited about the oranges
Ms_ValS 27
A free orange during Chinese New Year is really like free snow during Christmas. Such a slap in the face.
Flaming_Pandas 15
But orange you glad he didn't give you any more eggs?
ohSNAPyall 27
Everyone likes snow at Christmas.
sureshadow 23
so punny
Pizzacheese4 13
Not when you are the one who has to shovel it #43
Pandacupcakelove 26
Orange you grateful?
mellajella 14
What an original and clever pun.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Oh thank you! Your approval means so much to me
tehdarkness 21
That sucks being allergic to eggs! At least you had antihistamine handy. I would be upset though and escalate it. Someone could die from that mistake!
muis545 21
They are causing you eggstra pain and suffering.
Masift 21
HAHAHHA XD That pun was so bad but also so good at the same time
StickyPickles 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Now what did you learn?
drayloon 50
That mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
brookiesawr 11
the only thing we remember from school haha
fuckedPriceless 17
so true...only thing I remember from biology.
JennaNGood 21
That OP should never go to a Chinese restaurant if she's allergic to eggs... Almost everything is brushed with egg whites to fry.
hailzz_96 18
"Sorry we almost killed you.. Here have this orange"
drayloon 50
They only gave you a free orange for almost killing you? They may as well have given you an extra fortune cookie
Cherryta 17
Fortune cookies have egg in it so also wouldn't be a good way to say 'sorry' to OP.
brittaaany_93 38
Well that's unfortunate then :/
MDoremis 38
I vote you start making your own Chinese food from now on. No chance of having something you're allergic to in it.
Araj_Hs 19
Well, people who have allergies with specific food products should prefer cooking and eating at home itself. Better be safe than sorry! :)
swanheart 35
Oh sure they can prefer it but that doesn't mean that they should never go out to eat or that restaurants shouldn't take allergies into account.
mrmcleod 29
True but they also shouldn't go to places where that allergy is prevalent. It blows my mind. "I'm so allergic to [insert allergy here], it literally could kill me, guess I'll risk my life and go eat at [insert establishment here where allergy is prevalent]"
smokecloud_ 37
I'm torn on the subject. I work in a restaurant and take my guests allergies very seriously. However, 37 has a point. I work at an Italian place and when you point out that you have a garlic allergy I mentally facepalm. There's garlic in literally every single sauce. (and then the guy took a bite of his date's lasagna and I died a little inside.)
tantanpanda 26
A chinese restaurant is probably the last place you want to be if you are allergic to eggs. Egg noodles, fried rice, fortune cookies, and half the stir fry items, etc. You're basically asking to die.
duckie227 22
I'm glad SOMEONE said it. You have an allergy to something and then go somewhere where that ingredient is prevalent, you're asking to die.
mrmcleod 29
#53 I too work at a restaurant where we pretty much have gluten in everything. I always take any allergy seriously when we are notified, and as I've brought up on multiple occasions, if we have an item that has an ingredient with gluten in it, and we have an allergy alert on gluten for that ticket, I can't take it seriously when their server informs them, after it has been rung in, and they say it's okay to keep that ingredient in their dish. Either you're alergic or you're not. I'm sure you know the irritation when you have to take the extra precautions to make sure they're safe and it turns out they're not quite as alergic as they let on.
sturschaedel 27
#53 & #67, I think nowadays there are a lot of people misusing the allergy thing for stuff they "just don't like that much", or they do it to get the kitchen to freshly make their meal instead of using prepared stuff. Of course this is bad news for the people that really ARE allergic, because they don't get taken as seriously anymore. Then again, if you have various severe food allergies you should probably consider to stop eating out. I know it sucks, but you are putting you life in th hands of a row of people you don't even get to see. It takes one person to be less attentive than they should be to cause you serious harm.
Frillwee95 12
When you return the orange they will combine it with the egg to make orange chicken, that's how it's made fresh every day!
ohSNAPyall 27
Which comes first: The orange chicken or the orange egg?