Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
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Top comments
Midrash 5
Your nuts...
SkoomaKi 28
Expect that when your getting real head. Never rush a woman. I wish I could have sex dreams, if only I had imagination...
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Comments (98)
I_Has_A_Fishy 12
Why are so many women saying it's rude for a guy to grab a girl's head while she's going down on them? I love to grab my husband's head when I'm getting some and re-direct him to that "perfect spot"... I don't see how it would be "rude" for him to do it to me if it would give him more pleasure. That's the whole point of a ******** isn't it? His pleasure.
nerdsgetmehot 23
It's not rude to grab their head, but it's rude to force someone's head down in my opinion. Gently guiding someone's head to the right spot or gently putting your hands on someone's head is one thing, but slamming someone's head down is quite another...
I_Has_A_Fishy 12
You're more than entitled to your opinion, but my opinion is a little different. I feel if you're going to do something for the pleasure of someone else, why not let them have it the way they want it? If they like it rough then ok. I'd take a little discomfort to properly please my man to the full extent he wants it. Just as I would expect him to do for me. Although, you are right in a way that if he's going to give you blunt force trauma to the head, then it could be considered rude :P If he has to force that hard, it would probably cross over into the category of rape, and that's a whole different batch of cookies.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#69 Yeah, I agree that it's okay if they like it that way and IF they both knew that beforehand and both people were okay with it. But if the roughness came out of nowhere and my partner hadn't mentioned that beforehand and were so rough that it made me uncomfortable, I'd be a little angry.
evilplatypus 39
Because you're doing something FOR him. Why you should you do it in a way that isn't comfortable for YOU? That's like getting someone a present or something and then having them tell you it's the wrong color. It's ungrateful and RUDE. If you're both into that, then fine. But you need to figure that shit out before hand. If a guy did that to me, he'd be getting bit.
twisted_cherub 14
It's more a matter of the forcing of his dick into her throat. If you don't know (or care about) your partner that much, you may trigger a very strong gag reflex. I'm all for doing anything and everything to give my fiance as much pleasure as humanly possible, but I also don't want to puke all over his junk because he shoved my head down. That would completely ruin the mood. Fortunately, he knows me well enough to be aware of my limits.
5t3ff1k4h 47
You asshole. Who pushes a girl's head down that hard during a *******? Great way to ensure you'll never get THAT girl again, dream or not.
megaboo310 4
Yeah I agree
5t3ff1k4h 47
It seems like it might have been quite rough if he managed to smack himself in the balls. If he was "guiding", as you put it, there's practically no risk of him hurting himself like that.
fmlnik 5
He was asleep!!! It's not like he was actually controlling his movements!
tarheellover4 2
Hahaha
kinzokuhebi 0
I have read this 4 times now, still makes me laugh but FYL OP.
theepicme 3
That sucks
chrlyperr 3
Guys r so weird
KiddNYC1O 22
We rrrr.
s0ulslack 20
You forgot to mention the rest of the dream
iamlonelybuthapp 3
Hahahaha..!!!!!! That is funny... But its a fake story.. :P
sinner92 4
You should have let her do her thing instead of trying to take control.
iamlonelybuthapp 3
Yeah.. I better not talk about what girls dream.. :P