Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BadApple88 29
Divorce that bitch
WCARlover 35
Screw cheaters. Well...actually it looks like other guys have been. Sorry OP. :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
nunurbiz 4
Reminds me of a girl I've just started sleeping with. You're not Chinese by any chance?
Liamj774 36
Please call 1-800-CHOKEDATBITCH
kassia_1011 21
It's 1-800 chokedathoe. Just saying. But that is still funny
therealjc_fml 14
Maybe it was with herself. Need more info.
R3TROxLOV3 32
#29, are you retarded? The level of stupidity you've been displaying on this particular FML is jaw dropping. They are STILL MARRIED. She has had more sex in the past two months of their marriage with other men, than she's had with OP in a year. It's really not that hard to think it through. Does someone need to write you a step-by-step guide?
worldclassrager 41
Well that's over...sorry OP...you'll find someone that will stick with you...
NodakN8V 25
Ahh another Public Toilet ... Been there done that OP ..divorced mine ASAP !! They're only so expensive because they are worth it.
johbstonjacob 8
That sounds complicated
the_Jessicaaa 11
Bro
RaWrBytchRaWr 6
LLL .job m lo ul l
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Better make sure it is the LAST year of that marriage. You can do better.