Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
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Top comments
sapm90 0
wife or ex?
FFML_314 12
Meet Bob. Bob is a hermaphroditic alcoholic who is unhappy about his penis size. Take Bob's advice. Bob is smiling.
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Comments (83)
Aerdna87 0
awhh your granny has bigger boobs than you
Renesaga 8
Wrong FML.
Dragons_corner 6
wrong FML lol but that's messed up. time for a divorce unless she's got's a blow up doll or some kinds if of life like doll.
RyGan 0
"More than" meaning she had sex once in the past month and you havent been laid in a year ..
chuchurocket 4
maybe she had an affair with marinus
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
#11 is that a crossbreed between a banana and a strawberry???
TheWhiteDemon 0
omg a strawberry shaped like that wuld be fkin awesomeee!!!
breenarae25 0
wrong fml, go back one fml
Ashley121645 0
11 pic looks like a fruit imitation of a penis. maybe dog or human penis.
FFML_314 12
Meet Bob. Bob is a hermaphroditic alcoholic who is unhappy about his penis size. Take Bob's advice. Bob is smiling.
fmlbrooo 0
Again? I'd dump her cheating ass, right after I back-hand slap her with my pimp hand.
breenarae25 0
#36, I have those shorts, they r comfy :)
ring13 0
you can barely even see her shorts..... how do you know?
A_Khalifa 0
lol rape her and dump her in a dark ally
supasxcprincess 0
ha mm cod sure raping her will solve it? she sounds like a cheating ***** who can't get enough dick so it wouldn't be rape anyways.
Sm32589g 0
this...
FFML_314 12
Meet Bob. Bob is a hermaphroditic alcoholic who is unhappy about his penis size. Take Bob's advice. Bob is smiling.
FYLDeep 26
You're not helping. She was ******* Bob on the side.
daywalker26 0
I think op has the small penis or just doesn't know how to use it.
greatwyt 0
#13 what if the OP had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge penis? and his wife was afraid?
tannarox 0
omg, FFML314 IS bob!
sloppyflow 1
13 ur epic
sapm90 0
wife or ex?
Cinn_fml 23
Ouch. Well, it's your choice where you go from there, either way, you definately need to talk that one through completely.
40ozToFreedom 0
choice? the only choice is divorce!
Cinn_fml 23
For a lot of people yes, that is how they view it. But there are some people out there who are willing to forgive, others who are willing to forgive based on what the reasons are... Not everyone views everything the same way.
EvilDave 13
Cheaters deserve neither a second chance nor forgiveness. Those that talk as you do are either cheaters themselves or doormats. I am betting you are a cheater.
Cinn_fml 23
Then you misjudge me entirely, EvilDave. I am neither. Personally, I wouldn't forgive anyone who cheated, however not everyone is the same. There are cases when people chose to forgive, for whatever reasons, and for all we know, the OP is one of those people.
daemonsparta 16
more sex in two months than with hey husband in two years. .. thats a LOT of forgiveness
honeycream 0
i wanna know with who?
DjeePee 25
Can't you read? FYLDeep had already told us it was with Bob.
nadia716 3
oh wow :/ seems like a time to move onto better things in life? btw i hope that's mrs. EX op by now?
ianmercurio 0
just wanna through this out there but your beautiful
Autoshot 9
Good job. Now try using that line with a girl irl face to face and perhaps just maybe, god willing, you won't have to pull your pud for the rest of your life.
bethan1 4
Well that's what happens when a pimp gets married to his ho! Did she at least give you your share of her earnings? If so then I don't see what the fml is.
kkyl 1
that is really stupid