jaqlove
Clementon, United States
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
no name
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Anonymous
Littleton, United States
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
foxbrat
United States
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Yudith
Welcome!
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Anonymous
Added protein
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Anonymous
Rydalmere, Australia
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
wellesleybanana
United States
Morning!
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
mac
Bankstown, Australia
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Top comments
Unenunciable 14
You should really go to the doctor to make sure it didn't lay any eggs in your ear canal!!
lex1459 38
Alright. Well. Safe to say I'll be sleeping with something covering my ears tonight.
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Comments (32)
lex1459 38
Alright. Well. Safe to say I'll be sleeping with something covering my ears tonight.
thawny_fml 21
This is both the shortest and yet most terrifying FML I have ever read.
Unenunciable 14
You should really go to the doctor to make sure it didn't lay any eggs in your ear canal!!
Nyattack 14
I would never have thought of that... Very creepy yet plausible. Kudos to you for thinking about that possibility and warning the OP !
niftyismybitch 21
Better a cockroach than a ****..erel.
TheGamingGamer 28
Better get some Raid® and spray the **** outta them next time you see one. And sleep with headphones. Good music plus no cockroaches in your ear. Win-Win.
hellnosucka 27
that is the most horrifying thing I've ever read.
PapiiChuloo 4
I sleep with a stocking cap over my head so nothing like that ever happens
Nylectro 14
I woke up to a dead cockroach in my hair when I was 11. That's why I got a bunkbed yo
Bearsmomma 30
you know they climb or crawl, right?They can walk walls and even on Ceilings
False_Stupidity 42
They can fly too, to an extent
hellobobismyname 24
I'd actually prefer that... You can easily wash out your mouth. It's gross but it's worse to have something alive crawling inside your ear that probably won't come out without force. You never know what it could be plotting. I never ever want to experience that. Yuck!
Elgrin 15
Was it whispering sweet nothings?
_EnderDoge 22
Guess you could call it an earroach.