Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
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Top comments
BadApple88 29
Divorce that bitch
WCARlover 35
Screw cheaters. Well...actually it looks like other guys have been. Sorry OP. :(
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Comments (123)
slipstreak 10
Ditch that bitch.
azyjazy713 11
Tell her to make it up to you... Or TAKE EVERYTHING
ZooMzy 9
No, people cheat because they are afraid of conflict. In the minds of most, people would rather risk getting caught for secret indulgences over confronting another as emotionally attached as a spouse and basically "burning a bridge". In reality, it's exactly like burning a bridge, where you have a pretty large one if you're married to another. You can't just destroy one as large as theirs metaphorically without someone getting severely injured in the process, so why not take the risk and prevent a whole explosive situation from occurring over something as primal as a sexual urge? Which, don't get me wrong, I don't condone it one bit. But the story being painted about cheaters is always so black and white, when in reality, it's probably one of the grayest areas in life next to politics.
nlow79 3
my #1 recommendation to you right now is a chainsaw.
loathingloser 14
Cut this fuckim bitched head off!
sartrow 8
awesome! now you go find some fresh tail for yourself, for once, both of you will be happy
QueenofWheels 13
Leave her and take everything.
ShenaniganNinja 20
If you have evidence of the infidelity, make sure to bring that to the divorce proceedings. It will make a big difference in how much you get to keep in the divorce. Make sure you don't move out, as that could be skewed as abandonment, and then you won't get the house if there is a house involved.
dangousity 21
Your wife is a *****; congratulations
TheyCallMeDamien 18
OUCH!