Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
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Top comments
BadApple88 29
Divorce that bitch
WCARlover 35
Screw cheaters. Well...actually it looks like other guys have been. Sorry OP. :(
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Comments (123)
aruam365 24
#61 I almost never approve of the use of the word "retarded" in that manner, but I can't think of a better word for it in case, as they seem to match the definition.
foxwasalamb 24
#10, people cheat because they arent getting something out of their current relationship. they still want to be with that person, their needs just need to be fulfilled. not advocating cheating, you said you dont understand so i thought id try to help
KaterinaPatrova 10
hope you find a solution that makes you happy, OP.
KaterinaPatrova 10
or talk to each other so maybe they could work out their problems.
jackolabito 1
divorce
R3TROxLOV3 32
#79, same here. I try to avoid using it at all, and this is the first time I've called anyone retarded all year. I kept trying to think of a word that would fully describe the stupidity, but none of them seemed to truly describe the level of stupidity as well as retarded did.
pdp_fml 21
That does suck!
egrudy 9
Divorce her and make a sex tape with her sister or best friend... Or both
brandoneyez1 25
Sorry OP sounds like time to move on!
Mysterious_one 26
curious... how did u get to know?