Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is seeing a marriage counselor. With her ex. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I found out my wife of 19 years has been cheating on me. She told me that all the "cheating music" that she's been playing the last year and a half should've been a good enough hint. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML
Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
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Top comments
Daboomboom 9
Sooooooo messed up, sorry op, pimp slap that hoe then dump her ass
jomo111 5
Well that's ironic.... Almost as mutch as printing flyers for saving trees
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Comments (197)
Daboomboom 9
Sooooooo messed up, sorry op, pimp slap that hoe then dump her ass
olpally 33
Pimp slap her, then beat his ass as well.. Fyl op, you got royally screwed.. You can do so much better than that dirty cheating bitch! There's plenty of more fish in the sea..
Discombobulated9 12
If this guy was a professional, you can sue him. Professionals aren't allowed to have any sort of relationship with their clients. So, that would be sweet revenge, no?
ThisIsMyReign 4
Your first mistake was believing Virginia is for lovers.
ProhibitionRose 14
OP never said anything about believing VA is for lovers.
zombiegold 23
I hope he didn't overcharge you too.
ThisIsMyReign 4
71 - it's called a joke.
idiothater1 4
76. Not a very good one.
ThisIsMyReign 4
No one said it was. Just one Virginian to another. Don't like it make a better one.
Collinscap20 6
1-(800)-CHOKE-DATHOE
PlastikSeraph 2
Now I'm no relationship expert, but it sounds to me like he's doing a pretty bad job.
tellithowitis 13
That's a jerky move, not literally (pun intended of you want it to)
RrLSf19 0
Im sorry. I can only imagine how your feeling
dcg1375 7
Like the old saying go's. For every beautiful woman out there, there's some guy tired of ******* her.
BrickWalls 2
#24 But no matter how many fish in the sea it would feel so empty without me! I'm Sorry... :D!!!
mfjkr 10
If you want something done...do it yourself...
bluevayero 42
tough words but im with the poet too
Colonel_Lexi 18
You're better of without those jerks, OP.
ClassyCommando 13
Sounds like he's trying to improve your relationship with your hand, OP.
tparis12345 4
Lol he must have a small penis
ShroomsOnAcid 17
These small penis jokes are getting really old.
tparis12345 4
Well it's true
LaughinStock 16
83 so you've seen it then? Its ok I won't judge you, whatever floats your boat.
captaincook_fml 1
He was getting it on track, not the track you planned on but a track to a speedy divorce. Lol fyl for sure
holllla_fml 3
Awksauce.
Chaos187 6
Who the hell says awksauce?
BlesstheSilence 11
I hate when people put shit together thinking it will make an awesome new word.
angrymexican 8
I know it's so stuparded
buck33 14
Everyone says awksauce... (sarcasm for all you dumbarded people..)
GoW_Chick 15
Saying awksauce is just as bad as saying, awks, jelly, just sayin, lolz, or not spelling out "u," or "ur," I'm sure there are many others, I just can't think of them right now.
SupahAsian 4
Plus, the situation isn't even awkward. Not every unfortunate event is awkward.
desireev 18
Dear #3, Please do not use the word 'awksauce' anymore. For the greater of the people of the FML Nation. Please don't. I felt a couple brain cells die when I saw that word. Sincerely, desireev
aceman1992 9
62- lol you messed that up pretty bad buddy.
desireev 18
Thank you good sir. It took me 3 seconds to think of that when it would normally take me 1/2 a second. I'm sure gonna miss those brain cells...
bluevayero 42
does this exist even in your mind?
UsernameHere234 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well either he's not working very hard on it or he is trying to get you back together to get rig of your wife
KiddNYC1O 22
Not quite.
UsernameHere234 13
I do hope you realize that was a joke mate.
suoerkewl 15
Jokes are funny, that wasn't.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I don't get it.
Chaos187 6
Jeenkies!! I get it! So if the marriage counselor got him and his wife back together, and he was trying to get rid of his wife, then doesn't that mean the whole time the marriage counselor was gay for the husband?
xiaodoggiie 5
I think he was trying to say that the "mediator" wanted to get rid of OP's wife, so he tried to help OP with his marriage problems.
jomo111 5
Well that's ironic.... Almost as mutch as printing flyers for saving trees
Chaos187 6
Or as ironic as trying to save trees when paper is already dead trees.
manatees_r_epic 0
That's the point...
elephantom12 9
Little slow in the head aren't ya, 17?
ManlyDunsparce 3
-slow clap- very nice 17. You deserve a pat on the face.
Discombobulated9 12
...with a chair :D
zombiegold 23
That's as ironic as spelling "right" wrong.
zombicidal 11
17 you fell off the changing table a couple times didn't you?
patzz12 0
55 lmfao
Chaos187 6
88- still shufflin'?
bouchard43 0
lol
Miss_Trejo 5
Dump her and don't look back. Trust me, cheaters never stop doing it.
Chaos187 6
Shes right..I will always regret the first time I cheated... Damn that genius girl who sat next me in class...I just couldn't help it...
Pr0metheus 7
You Are the epitome of whit my friend
girl112891 7
Once a cheater, always a cheater. People who avoid facing their issues and looking for what they want (sex) else where, will end up doing the same thing in other relationships once things go down hill.
sajupt 17
+ 1. I was stupid enuf to be cheated on twice, by the same female with 2 diff guys... :(
alwayzgone7 9
Right there with you 92.. Happy 2012 to me..
KiddNYC1O 22
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Remember that.
Chaos187 6
Oh and for all you idiots who think I cheated ona girlfriend. No, I was referring to cheating on her paper. Never have cheated on a girl, never will.
kaelynxboo 0
Enough* different** not rocket science honey (:
khaya 9
Talk about overcharging.
make_me_smile 4
dump her yay! ive never been posted higher than 40th before, much less 5th
sammyjanette 17
Aww well then I hate to be the bearer of bad news...you're 9th. :D
BeccaHugs 17
Can you not count or?
khaya 9
He's fifth inside and that's what counts. Just joking your ninth and that's what you will be remembered for.
LmFaO9875 5
No one cares -.-
Iamnotyourmom 0
Irooooony.
akallaan 7
He got it back on track... to disaster.