Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife isn't cheating on me after all, as I'd feared. We just don't have sex anymore. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
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Top comments
BadApple88 29
Divorce that bitch
WCARlover 35
Screw cheaters. Well...actually it looks like other guys have been. Sorry OP. :(
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Comments (123)
ginger196 14
Well, this will make for an awkward dinnertime conversation
schadenfreud 6
before you divorce her, blow any savings you may have on hookers
Opinion_ 9
They are divorced. Read the fml again.
Lil_Red777 21
@31 you're a twit. This is an FML because his wife has been cheating on him.
badluckalex 23
blowing all his money on hookers would do absolutely nothing... op shouldnt stoop to his wifes level to get back at her
sweetbliss3 37
hookers? who wants to be in this situation plus get some funny disease on top of it?
candiicane 12
#17, that would screw him over for when he needs to rebuild his life. One night stands sure, but no money and a chance of STD's isn't the way to go.
telli164 30
#31. I'm annoyed at the fact that you're the 4th or so person to say that.
triplebeerox 27
#96 he is the only person saying it; he's said it at least three times and won't take no for an answer!
nitrog100 21
Well, at least her infidelity gives you a huge advantage in divorce proceedings. You may walk away from this no worse for wear, save giving a piece of your heart to a worthless b**ch.
rocker_chick23 27
Divorce the cheating bitch.
Opinion_ 9
You are like the fifth person to say she is cheating. She wasn't, because they were divorced when she did it. Op said, she has had sex more the past 2 months than he did during their last year being married.
rocker_chick23 27
He didn't use ex wife so I am not surprised people were confused.
LegalLoitering 12
You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?
littlekellilee 45
It says in the last two months, not the past two months. Maybe you should spend less time berating people and more time reading.
HeyTherexxx 21
32- So many people have already corrected you; please follow your own previous advice and read the FML again.
foxwasalamb 24
67, at least 32 is consistent. points for something. even if hes wrong
Adam5858 17
Divorce in 3...2...1...How did you findout
vikky538 29
well... sex drives to divorce...
dweeds508 24
Divorce her dude. You don't deserve that.
Opinion_ 9
You are like the fifth person to say she is cheating. She wasn't, because they were divorced when she did it. Op said, she has had sex more the past 2 months than he did during their last year being married.
buckdharma 38
For your sake I hope its good vibrations, and not the beach boys.
imjustoverhere 3
#****
HylianTwilight 21
Bad! No! Go over there instead. >:c