Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML
Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML
Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my friend told me she saw the girl I like at a single's night after I'd asked her out and rejecting me, for being in a complicated relationship. FML
Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
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Top comments
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
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Comments (119)
BauerMegan 31
Some people just can't handle rejection.
Arrow44 10
On that note she probably doesn't handle revenge well either. *wink*
BauerMegan 31
18, you're mind is tainted.
jjessen 20
21 who on this site doesn't have a tainted mind?
BauerMegan 31
I sir!
TheDrifter 24
I can help you with that...
tjv3 10
Well just start whipping out your junk and showing it off
feelingold 18
Haaaaahaha who wants to bet that they actually ****** and this is his attempt to convince people that his denials are truthful?? Sorry about your penis OP.
AboveAll04 14
bro just put the tip in, it doesn't even count. but perhaps you already did and that's all she felt.
BauerMegan 31
Fyi everybody, sarcasm is a subtle art ;)
charrmaander 10
26, you're in the wrong place if you have a tainted mind lol
BauerMegan 31
I'm kinda reluctant to comment now. Everything I say gets down voted. **** my sense of humour right?
Nordrag 26
Rumors like that come and go. Start explaining that she's a creepy stalker you declined. Eventually everything will pass.
TrueDragons 2
Too bad no one will believe that a girl is stalking a guy though.
wlddog 14
I would believe it. Have seen it before, more than once.
vegeta77 4
28, you need to get out more. Girls are psycho. I've had them hide in my bushes.
lilhellian 27
I had one in my closet, I still don't know how she got in! Pretty sure she picked the lock, but not sure. :/
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Who could resist stalking you, 50? With those chubby little cheeks and tiny little ears.
alxpilk 8
It's college too.... No one will remember in a couple weeks
lilhellian 27
0.0 Dog haters?
ShyAnn29 15
28, why would you think that? Women are just as capable of being stalkers as guys are!
chosha_fml 27
??? Of course they will. Happens all the time.
Druu 53
@39 They hide in your bushes to get you into theirs?
theworldismad 10
28- ever heard of Taylor Swift?
slooby_fml 25
Prove them all wrong
mif_fml 27
If he can..
tammylauraine 4
Yeah! Show them your dick! ... Wait what.
cyanidesandwich 21
When in doubt whip it out
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well that escalated quickly
mspiggy3712 11
A stalkers revenge
hemz_fml 13
You could just tell everyone that she was extremely loose because of the colorful sex life she had.
\ 28
Cold, cruel revenge. Also reminds me of a certain episode from "Malcolm in the Middle..."
Blackcatluck 19
Honestly, if a girl did that to me I would do the same and spread rumours about her being unhygienic ect.
inkdeath87 18
That's screwed up.
cuppycakeslove 20
Which is why it's on FML
emeraldisle 30
Troll stalker strikes again.
mimiminx 23
When did the first strike?
golden_warrior 23
Put out your jr so he can say hi to the world
cuppycakeslove 20
And so then he can be arrested for public indecency, yeah!!
imtooshy 18
Rumours usually disappear as fast as they start...there will always be another victim of rumours so don't worry, soon you'll be forgotten and the limelight will be cast upon innocent victim :-)
imtooshy 18
*another innocent victim
Tpep2012 9
Well, looks like you may need to go streaking... Good luck!
graceinsheepwear 34
He might be a grower, not...well you know.