Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML
Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML
Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML
Today, I realized that I kinda have a crush on my sister-in-law. Mind you I'm a woman and her boyfriend of 5 years is my fiancé's brother. FML
Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML
Today, my little cousin, who just got a boyfriend, found out I've been single my whole life. She asked, "Is it because you're really ugly and awkward?" Yes. Yes, it is. FML
Today, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman I love to bits, but I have a crush on a coworker. I've tried to brush it off, but it's only getting stronger. The worst part? I think she likes me too. FML
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Top comments
Lucia_Malpense 14
She's six, she'll get over it.
iRoc46n2 4
Does your boyfriend by chance have a sibling closer to her age? Maybe it would get her on a different course.
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Comments (99)
Lucia_Malpense 14
She's six, she'll get over it.
xlord 27
Anyone think that this would be a pedobear's dream?
TBelle4Ever 15
I think everyone at some point has had a crush on a family members boyfriend or girlfriend. I had a crush on my sisters boyfriend when I was 5.
kamikrazy 6
Or she will stop at nothing until she gets him. Gosh... Can't you read?
FMLKitten 15
20- But were you as dedicated as OP's darling cousin? :-O
Lucia_Malpense 14
I know a six-year old who'll stop at nothing to become a butterfly when she grows up.
xlord 27
Lucia- are you stoopid? Everyone knows you have to transform into a caterpillar first.
TBelle4Ever 15
No, because they broke up a few weeks later. It must have been that thing almost everyone has about wanting something they can't have #20
TBelle4Ever 15
I meant 23, sorry.
MistressCaitlyn 7
#1 - Clearly you've never met a very determined six-year-old. Mine doesn't forget, get over, or let go of anything unless she gets her way, or gets in trouble for it. FYL OP, but at least there's no real competition there (I hope... otherwise, get the hell out of Dodge! lol).
TBelle4Ever 15
I am so stupid, I meant 24!
With_Love929 3
Oh god this almost sounds like my little sister and my boyfriend. She's 7 and it's disgusting how she talks.
_Oblivion_ 12
I can't imagine how 7 year olds talk now
BulldogHoops 14
30- No, you are. *stupid *Smug smile*
deBlobX 12
Um no xlord it's perfectly normal for a girl to turn into a butterfly
LLZNH 1
Maybe not! I have the reverse problem of my older brother's friend having a crush on me and he's a senior in highschool
MDTeddy 13
That is how they are about justin beaver and One Direction. I am tired of little kids thinking they love someone or even used the word love not even in an attractive way.
cupcakekallie 6
154 - I actually don't know any directioners under 13.
hotchick90037 3
I do lol
Suaria 38
Well I've never had a crush on any of my brother's girlfriends. Then again I'm straight, and I'm a girl. Nor have I ever had a crush on any of his friends. But my 5 year old sister has had crushes on my brother's friends. Of course nothing would come out of it because his friends are 19.
ali671 1
Lmao that competition though.
blcksocks 19
The "soon..." meme would be perfect here
Judahsh 8
You don't say?
gc327072 31
Sounds like the same type of little girl that's all like "0mG I luvv JuStin Bbr!" and has posters and pink items all over her room.
hellachillin 8
Let's just hope her boyfriend doesn't have a thing for 6 year olds & was just using his girlfriend to get to her cousin.
zachattack112492 4
She's to young for you bro!!
geko911 22
50 - what's wrong with posters and pink stuff for a young girl?
ArielTheMermaid 17
Aw that sounds cute. She's only 6, OP, so she'll get over it. When I was younger I had a huge crush on my brother's friend. But I grew up and it passed
BeRealB 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry
botanistjessica 24
Who's Jerry?
DontThumbMeDown 8
Right, this should so be on Jerry Springer. Sarcasm
klovemachine 24
Jerry Springer. His show consisted of kissing cousins, family orgies, trashy people, and other weird stuff :D
Dixbfloppin 11
For some weird reason, this put the funny thought of OP being on Jerry Springer claiming her boyfriend got her six-year-old cousin pregnant.
ScarletFever67 6
I would assume he meant Jerry Sandusky from Penn State...ya know, the pedophile. I feel like that makes more sense than Jerry Springer...
fabulosogurlee 7
75- Don't be silly... That is more of a Maury theme
buck33 14
I thought 3 was talking about a kid that went to my school. I'm totally lost now.
iRoc46n2 4
Does your boyfriend by chance have a sibling closer to her age? Maybe it would get her on a different course.
lolololer 8
that would be an adorable double date!
whosindahouse 9
Unless they are both girls 0_0
Special_Psycho 8
And, 84, what is wrong with lesbians? I happen to be a straight-ally and I say you should be too! Don't be rude to the whole LGBT community like that! They deserve to be happy too!
thisiscat 14
134- he didn't say anything against lesbians, the 6 year old appears to be straight (wanting the boyfriend) unless she is bisexual which I doubt a 6 year old would even understand at that age.
Suaria 38
That is actually not true. There was actually a woman who posts for the huntingtonpost that said her seven year old son has identified himself as gay. So they are able to understand it, but not neccessarily come out.
guitarchic12 0
Oh my..good luck breaking the news it'll never happen
fireheart_fml 14
OP just needs to get her boyfriend to reject her. In the nicest way possible of course.
bjf10 22
Or just ignore it, the kid will lose interest.
GothicAngel17 24
That's just adorable.
Pandacupcakelove 26
So adorable! But I can imagine it being pretty annoying :/
onlychildFTW 34
Yea it does get annoying. Very annoying. Very fast. And this is from the guys perspective. Little kids can be annoying because they don't fully understand what they are actually doing or want to do.
annie_nk 23
She's 6. She should lose interest soon. Should.
CaptNomNom 17
Hahaha such a cute cousin you have.
kut17 11
Determination. It gets you places.
dude1122332 9
In this case, prison.
Goldenberry_fml 14
How? I never knew having a crush on someone would land me in jail.
nictransitglory 4
Just think, in 10 years when your married and expecting your first child, he'll actually be expecting 2.
nictransitglory 4
***Notice*** Keeping grammar trolls at bay by acknowledging my phone doesn't properly punctuate "you're" in proper context. So I realize the first "your" should be "you're". Sorry if I ruined your day by pointing this out before you did, and took away the chance to show everyone how smart you are :)
annie_nk 23
My phone does the same thing. :/
klovemachine 24
A reference to an earlier FML...priceless :)
HiddenValley 5
This sounds like a FML recently confirmed. Lol
AcieMcG 21
Oh god, they'd be second cousins and half siblings to each other .-.