Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Oh I've seen this movie!! ....Pornhub right?
StormGirl142 24
I think you accidentally a few words.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (285)
FallOutBoy143 0
Isnt that illegal?
ForTheKicks24 5
Why would you say that... *facepalm*
karebear2 0
ouch... bad, bad choice of words.
ButterFly85 0
Lmao00!!!!
Honda288 2
Oh what the **** were you thinking with that one?
clm123455 14
His mom. Obviously.
niklaus1 5
"wtf brain!"
tdawg4200 0
That's disgusting. Hide under a rock for the rest of your life.
clm123455 14
This reminded me of Patrick. Gotta love sponge bob cartoons. Lmao. (:
CSTDude77 7
World's dummest FML right here
niklaus1 5
"wtf brain!"
Fortitudine 3
Oedipus complex!