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thanks gramps - 19/04/2013 07:27 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

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ToughTitties - 14/12/2012 13:45 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

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Saturday 15 December 2012 12:48

Hey guys, its the OP here (didn't get an account to post the FML, but had to in order to comment, hence the name change) I'm not fat, I'm probably about 125 pounds and 5 foot 3, I was just leaning over- you know how your tummy kinda.. yeah. You guys get the idea! My boobs are way bigger than my tummy so it's all good. But I'm probably going on a diet after the holidays, because you guys are such ... well.. I can't say inspiration, more like a virtual kick up the backside. Thanks for commenting on my post, and happy holidays to you all!

Tonguetied0496 - 10/12/2012 07:21 - United States - Claremont

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

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lobstercola - 24/11/2012 16:35 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

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bill - 24/10/2012 11:14 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

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