me.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quick thinking
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Irving, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Hard in flip flops
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Fraser
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Play it cool
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
jesus christ, dad
Manchester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Knock first
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
jack s.b.
Austin, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
ifeeldirty
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Parental advice
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
GoldenTornado11
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Anonymous
Cincinnati, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Excuse me
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
But… no! I wasn't!
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Top comments
BlacOpsMaximus 5
Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..
jf7609 0
LOL, classic!
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Comments (163)
kcircuses 1
ha
kaplan_reject 5
Spider bite...... Spider bite... Oooooh itchy spider bite!
xlord 27
It would be funny if OP walked in on his parents and his dad says "ummm your mum also had an itch"
jf7609 0
LOL, classic!
TKmax 5
Good contribution. And what makes this a classic unless this is a regular occurrence for you.
TKmax 5
Good contribution. And what makes this a classic unless this is a regular occurrence for you.
NEEPLES 7
The numbers started at 2. Weird.
Marcella1016 32
29 - That means number 1 got moderated. I've noticed everyone seems to be assuming it was a guy. The "explanation" would've made more sense - and the entire situation been way more awkward (and interesting) - if OP was female O_o
Llama_Face89 34
31- I was actually thinking the same thing.
alliewillie 22
Yep and you had to fap it. Uh, I mean scratch it.
sarahxD1234 5
29- you must be new . (picture)
blackheart24 10
Fap fap fap fap fap...
Miq94 0
Same thing happened to me! Hahaha
TheNinjaCat 10
Heh. Heh heh heh. Fap. Tis all.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Think that's bad I was masturbating and playing pokemon (not at the same time and no I wasn't jerking off to Pokemon) and my dad walked in luckily he didnt see ._.
killersexy 1
Wat the **** dude really ?
promarkchris 6
"I was justing cleaning it and it went off"
likasumboooodi 0
um...I was just massaging it because some idiot kicked it......wanna help??? ;P?
Evan2297 0
A really really bad itch.... So I casually decided to scratch it.... With lotion and ****....
blackfyre 2
He is pretending he didn't see.
BlacOpsMaximus 5
Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..
flooger101 6
Why would there be a smell???
25shark 5
Its that new semen smell!
yankfan89 27
It may not be the smell of semen it doesn't state whether OP is a male or female
urdirtyolduncle 15
Are you a virgin, 32?
mcleod 17
32 - sex smells.
jizzwold 21
32 is indeed a virgin
colecola12 0
Were you born in the last 5 years?
gizmo323LA 0
Ur not funny
MarieBooLovesYou 4
Lmfao. This made my day.
Swiftly 0
Seems legit.
shemseyy 1
Ferociously itching...
flamegrilled123 3
Seems legit
Brice28_fml 10
There's a skeeter on my Peter whack it off!
PlasticSand 6
I like to itch my balls while looking at naked (wo)men. Is there a problem, father?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
My brother once walked in on me and the first thing I yelled out was "**** You" hahaha I don't even know why I said it lol just a reaction.
youcunthole 0
U should have told him u were checking for ticks
ATSViper 15
Made me LOL.
SammySteel 6
Isn't it the worst when your parents walk in.
raphanne_fml 33
Nah, it could be worse. Like when your grandparents walk in.
SammySteel 6
I wouldn't mind if you walked in ;)
CraneTG 0
Creeper alert!!!
avocado23 5
5 - looks like you're used to that now, considering you must still be living at home.
ShyAnn29 15
It could be worse, like your parents and grandparents walking in! O.o
SammySteel 6
I'll admit it, I deserved the backlash even through I was only kidding around lol
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Better than killing grandma with your money shot.
amoscore 5
45- Nice profile pic.
mapl3loop 0
American Pie ;)
ThreeSheetsGone 12
#5's response could also be a legitimate reference to the original American Pie. "It's like warm apple pie." *challenge accepted******* pie* (Dad walks in) Challenge failed. (miserably)
robc32ca 4
He knows what you're doing and has done it himself...a lot!!!
jacob128 4
Like smoking pot... The seventies!!!
skata 4
yeah mausterbating was big in the seventies...
HeavyScout 0
83-So was masturbating...
ColtsDoug18 0
Only in new jersey...
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
Hay!! Don't diss Jersey!!! (BTW do not refer to JerseyShore that show is a ton of stereotypes!)
xosportsgirl14x 8
Is that why you spelled hey a hay and used the word diss?
hkhan24 23
lock the door maybe...
dyble95 0
Ya because all doors have locks on them... -__-
poorjudgement 26
Find ones that do.
flooger101 6
Or do it in the shower.
Blueglasscup 18
Just some hardcore scratching for an annoying itch!
CraneTG 0
Dad: Oh yea I have the same exact itch. Look!
EmreArslan 11
Thats weird, i seem to have the same itch