Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML
Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
Oh I've seen this movie!! ....Pornhub right?
StormGirl142 24
I think you accidentally a few words.
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Comments (285)
jbloogle 10
Sounds fake
groupleader 7
Hope your dad didn't come home and catch you doing your mom. Smooth pickup line bro'
ice723 5
did she leave the room in disgust or help you finish?
jimshrimp 0
WHAT A LIE OP
MommaSmurf 0
Sounds like someone has an Oedipal complex.
xxespxx 2
Sigmund Freud would have fun with you.
7SeasOfRhye 1
lock the door you prude
hobomonkey 1
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA ;') I can't Breathe
Rasetsu 10
>.< oh that's AWFUL.
bubo_fml 11
Well...She had you inside her once before...
friisen_ 0
No matter how I put it I can't figure out how that would EVER be an excuse!?