Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
demoon_fml 7
moron.
hillbillie_girl 3
can we say divorce?
DogmaT_fml 4
A rift has been shown in FML, perdix's crumbling dominion (from his new workplace restrictions) is being sopped up by snickerdoodles and her evil minions. Freeze is a new light to this scenario. SPARTANS TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL.
deadsrs 0
Hahaha and how am I one of snicker's minions?
spikey818 9
daddy needs a whoop ass
isabelle99_fml 0
that suks balls, man. (well actually you're a women,but you know what I mean.
perdix 31
DogmaT, I am carrying on the good fight from my iPhone as strangled as it may be by AT&T's clumsy 3G network. No puny Fortune 500 corporation can crush Perdix's Will To Comment (and PM)!
Craw25 0
What a way to hear the news huh?
MadaZer0 8
iTouch... Is the way to go...
juscreablu 0
you can always get the truth from a little kid! sorry that the truth was crappy :( divorce him!