Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
sjisje 0
why does he involve your daughter in his affair.. and why a fucken stripper? FYL
mangocherrypie 0
Cool! You'll never have to worry about her college tuition fees!
pink_shades 0
hehe^.^
SugarRushxx 0
what a sweet little angel
volleyballx3 2
awhhh; thats awfulll ! that sucks. iloveyouuu <3
mrsStewart23 0
damn!! that's all there is to say!
Tahsis 4
Hey dumbass, not only is that sentence extremely ambigous, it's gramatically wrong; pronouns can't refer to nouns (such as your wife) that weren't used previosly. Think about it.
Freeze_fml 17
previously*
KurouTenshi 0
OMG FREEZE xD I think I just got your display...Grammar Nazi, right? O.o'
MRSmiley_fml 0
triforce rite? newfags just can't damn do it.
demoon_fml 7
Go, go, grammar Nazis. Mighty spelling grammar Nazis!
KurouTenshi 0
hell yeah Triforce >:D LoZ FL!!!
MadaZer0 8
Oh shit... I see it... o.O
xundria 5
I find it highly amusing that no one pointed out that this guy is trying to make fun of someone for their grammar errors but fails to spell "grammatically" correctly.
Freeze_fml 17
Don't forget ambiguous*.
perdix 31
Honey, you need to drink some coffee, or get a good night's sleep. The OP is the wife and daddy's cheating with a stripper (she's the one you are presumably calling trailer trash.) You seem to be confused on who's who is this story. Do you want me to badger people about grammar flaws while you rest?
deadsrs 0
Actually... this time snikker is correct... the trailer trash she is referring to is the husband. the woman the daughter never sees again being the stripper. Maybe it was confusingly worded but this is technically a win for snicker... tuduhhhhh
deadsrs 0
And this is the end of the world. A faceless FML poster correcting perdix. I can't say I regret much. I lived I loved I got a tshirt (though not as outstanding as people would like you to think)
Freeze_fml 17
Perdix, I am disappoint.