Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML
Today, during an interview, in my nervousness I accidentally handed the interviewer an A4 paper with my doodles and a grocery list instead of my resume. I guess they now know I need to buy more milk and have a questionable talent for drawing stick figures. FML
Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Explain to him you were drawing an arm, let him laugh at your ridiculous attempt at art and then after a few weeks the whole thing will blow over!
GenevieveL 0
Either you suck at drawing or that's one gross-looking dick.
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Comments (229)
noshtshrlk 0
lol,
ImaginaryFoe 1
superbad
jamieeeee 0
like 10% of people have it.
airforce987 20
lol ^win
Martianrobot67 0
superbad definitely
fudrick 0
8%*
me199 0
Why would anyone draw an arm? Don't lie, you were drawing a penis
slickness 0
lol
redshortsx 0
did it have an elbow?
garuru 4
hahahA
ImRawrtastic 0
well it's not ur fault u can't draw
crimsonfire 0
hahaha ^win
afolsom 0
tell the mail clerk to get his mind out of the gutter
jade77_fml 0
I doubt it had an elbow is someone mistook it for a 'private area'. haha
icall_BS 0
Which "arm" part did he/she think was the balls?
XDNurse 0
flabby elbow skin.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
Explain to him you were drawing an arm, let him laugh at your ridiculous attempt at art and then after a few weeks the whole thing will blow over!
quikwit1212 0
You shouldn't have said blow, it made me laugh.
ladiesman14 0
agree with # 24. knew a girl like that in college. i think she took roids. she never wore underwear to class. she had a large camel toe mons pubis that we cold all see. we called her MP = MUSCULAR PUSSY.
GenevieveL 0
Either you suck at drawing or that's one gross-looking dick.
fmlstatushater 0
why is everyone assuming dick?? Poster said person's private area. It can be a ****** (picture the fold of the upper and lower arm). I know poster said veins were drawn, but mailman could have thought it was one of those female body builders!
Jrook 0
gross either way
Soare 0
Justin Bieber is not allowed to say shawty. No, not, and never. The kid is a flaming lesbian.
Fab0luZ 0
Random
michaelscott69 0
dude, ive never heard of a veiny ******
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
Amen. I have yet to see a ****** with muscles and "bulging veins". I think those are both characteristics of a penis, although I could be very mistaken. [=
omg_thats_funny 0
I love Justin! <3 dooon't hate cuz ur not famous, shawty ! ;)
Apolloyn 0
bad art
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Only a Picasso could make a muscular arm look like a dick. Congrats.
WhatANoob 0
Agreed.
Free_Hugs10 0
That's one way to look at it. Or maybe he just really sucks at drawing. Either way, just explain to your boss that it's an arm. It'll be forgotten in a couple of days.
Ajjas013 6
No, Vangoh does a mean dick. He also makes mean sammiches. I'm just sayin'.
helo2 0
or maybe free hugs, you just suck at being pretty (display pic)
Free_Hugs10 0
Wow, I'm impressed. So witty of you Helo. I love you too.
DonkeyDelight 0
Man, you're a sick!
helo2 0
I love myself also.. where did that even come from
Free_Hugs10 0
Well you were so nice, I thought I'd be nice back.
helo2 0
when was I nice to you?
Free_Hugs10 0
I guess all the sarcasm was lost. Point is, I really couldn't care less about what you think of me. How come you don't have a pic?
helo2 0
because I don't want to show off how ugly I am
Free_Hugs10 0
So that's what I'm doing? Guess you can't blame me...
helo2 0
what? you are showing how ugly you are.. look at the pic
Freeze_fml 17
I'm glad you said it in #86, helo2, because I was about to back up your defense. In criticism, it's the opinion that matters. If you criticize someone in a negative manner, they can do the same to you and call you a hypocrite. But like a good critic, you have hidden your appearance and in no way can be considered a hypocrite. Not that I approve of people attacking the appearance of others, just that it seems that's the victim's only defense when it happens.
helo2 0
lmao
Free_Hugs10 0
I'm sorry you have such low self-esteem Helo, but I'm tired of stooping down to your level so we can end this lovely "conversation" right here :) And yes I'm beautiful, as I'm sure you are too.
helo2 0
Thank you. If you are tired of " snooping down" then we mine as well end it. besides it's past my bed time
lmfao1643 3
Free-hugs your ugly, no excuses.
Free_Hugs10 0
Sounds like someone needs a hug :)
babybubz 0
not nice
AngryNinja 1
ugggg. do i have to stalk Hugs to every fml? stop picking on her! -__-
MadaZer0 8
XD Right man!!!!!
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
Im not sure that will be needed Ninja... She seems to be pulling off the carefree tactic very nicely. =P You're beautiful hugs.
AngryNinja 1
me too snicks. i hate how people hate on random people who aren't as bitchy/mean/ugly as they're made out to be. -_-
omg_thats_funny 0
helo2 is funny. u ppl are annoying, don't deny she's ugly...you kno she is. and I'd have a picture up but I'm on my iPod touch and icant upload a picture to my profile right now soo. yeah. helo2 ur cool man.
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
If you're ugly on the inside who cares what you look like on the outside?
sublime93 0
173... in an earlier comment you claimed to love Justin bieber. You are not allowed to contribute anything to a conversation, ever. get off the Internet you sad middle schooler.
zdizzle123 0
I agree w/ 183 Justin bieber is a sad excuse for a guy he sounds like a girl... and all his songs are LAME!!!
zdizzle123 0
ooops i mean 185... my bAd
XDNurse 0
hugs I think you are pretty... ;3
ShadowhunterJ 0
hugs, just ignore that ********, you're beautiful :)
bkullas 0
sounds like someone needs a slap in the face.
AngryNinja 1
or a punch.. i call dibbs.
bnizzle 0
Totally agree. She's beautiful and some people are just jealous.
stinkytruck 0
I'd like a hug from Hugs. nice.
babybubz 0
slap/punch < roundhouse kick to the face
omg_thats_funny 0
who are u to tell me what coversations I can be or not. u fat gay guy. ps sublime sucks, they're from my city
zdizzle123 0
hahaha I agree but shhh... I don't want her/him to find out!!! haha sorry but it's true!!!
fmlstatushater 0
you were bored at work during this economy?? lucky you.
totes_sucks 0
At least the mail clerk didn't ask if he wanted to 'arm wrestle'.
mcgugs 0
WIN
davemania 0
y would u draw an arm in the first place.., and in how many ways can an arm look like a d***, how bad an artist r u?!
MadaZer0 8
"Why would you draw an arm in the first place. Also, how many ways can you make an arm look like a dick, how bad of an artist are you?" ^This... Is totally not epic fail ;P Sharingans only bitch!!!
slickness 0
you doodled a penis and said it was an arm?
XDNurse 0
weak eye...
piinkbunnii 1
Well at least you can forget about going to school to major in Arts, right?
MadaZer0 8
I agree with 9
BannedStory 0
hah epic failure.
yazdmich 1
you mean epic fail, idiot
x_AbyssGazing_x 0
Chill on the nerd rage Yaz. [=
omg_thats_funny 0
fail is failure, dumbass
kgraham21 0
You were drawing a dick just like that kid from Superbad but you just didn't want anyone to know so you said it was an arm.