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Cpt Colin United States 🌶️ Spicy

Get out of here

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Garzoo 4

Wow. She's a keeper!

kut19 6

Too cheap to spring for the prostitute?

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Comments (78)

Garzoo 4

Wow. She's a keeper!

princessbits 17

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Take advantage.

cheesypies 6

OR take the opportunity to get her more comfortable with intimacy?

CalCommando 6

You must: A.) Have a small dick OR B.) Have pedo eyes (you know what I mean)

_Oblivion_ 12

Nothing wrong with getting multiple stds right?

nahgemoohc 17

Did you take it?

swinglifeaway123 8

If she was willing to send you away to another woman.. My first question would be.. What was it SHE planned to do once you left?

changesinme 0

1- Whoa a keeper? Yeah just keep her some place else

blackheart24 10

Man OP must be terrible at sex.

whosays1 7

Marry her.

LolFMLnot 10

If you took the money then she'd hate you for life :) Thats how girls are she expects you not to take the money.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

... Surprise sex? c:

Riya2595 15

Take the offer!

SecretMe00 5

Has anyone wondered what caused OP's girlfriend to be this way in the first place? There could have been a very unfortunate event occur in her past that caused psychological damage causing her to hate it...

emvictoria 9

Or she just couldnt be bothered? Sometimes when I have a bad day at work Or just in general, i hate the thought of sex.

tw1st3r 2

Would you really give money to your boyfriend to buy a striped tho?

rahavan 15

Yes 38 if it would keep him from going behind my back (pun not intended). I am a smart woman I know men have needs and if I can't satisfy them I'll let him have meaningless sex for the sake of the relationship.

DjeePee 25

*shiver* Oh, I'm really glad I'm not a smart woman like you, who will keep your boyfriend from going behind your back by letting him have meaningless sex with others. I demand loyalty from my partner. If I could not satisfy him enough and/or he would need more than one woman, our relationship would be doomed anyway.

GoW_Chick 15

48- you'll let your boyfriend have meaningless sex with someone else? Am I they only here who values commitment, why not try to spice things up with one another instead?

dustyroaty 7

I agree with you. That does show a lack of commitment if he did take her up on it. I wouldn't even be tempted to do so if I was put in that predicament, I am 110% loyal to my girl and plan to keep it like that. On another note, if she is against the act of sex, talk to her about it, chances are she had a bad experience with it when she was younger, quite possibly a family member or someone close to the family had done the unmentionable? There is usually a reason behind everything.. If there isn't one, slowly try and show her that it's not as bad as she makes it to be.. Either way though, best of luck OP

jibz 6

You're all missing the fact that in no way are strippers and prostitutes the same. 90% of strippers won't allow you to touch them, let alone have sex with them.

GoW_Chick 15

Yeah but 48 said they would let their boyfriend have meaningless sex she said nothing about strippers or prostitutes, that was what I was commenting on.

jibz 6

I'm just commenting on most people's general idea that a stripper will have sex with you. People are getting all worked up about how OP would actually go through with it. Going to a stripclub doesn't make you unfaithful in any way.

GoW_Chick 15

I think it's more of the girls are getting worked up because of some of the comments on here then the FML itself.

DjeePee 25

"Going to a stripclub doesn't make you unfaithful in any way." Pflrbl, going to a stripclub doesn't fit in my definition of loyalty. I find looking at how (probably) hot women undress themself while dancing sensually over your lap pretty unfaithful, aye.

StreetReaper 9

Ok morons. How the hell does going to a strip club constitute cheating? By your conclusions, going to a strip club, which is entirely voyeuristic would have the same ramifications as if your husband/boyfriend was sitting in front of the tv watching Cinemax. Grow up people. It is entertainment. Nothing more, nothing less.

jibz 6

In what way does looking at a partially dressed girl (I say partially dressed because fully nude clubs are far more uncommon) constitute cheating/unfaithfulness? I suppose you could say it is wrong if your girl is throwing herself at you, but you turn to a stripper instead. However, in OP's situation, or a situation where you are in a relationship and your girlfriend is sexually uninterested for the time being, going to a stripclub and looking at a girl dance with her top off does not in any way constitute cheating. You don't touch strippers, you don't have sex with them. You look at them with your eyes only. It's no different than sitting at home watching ****. My girlfriend loves it when I go to clubs, because a simple lapdance is a stepping stone to a fantastic night alone with her.

GoodLookingGeese 10

Jumber10 I take option #2 as close to possible. It really made me laugh imaging ****** in holes I've not even imagined lying somewhere in Honduras... LoL

FruityLoooons 8

Well...at least she was thinking of you by allowing you to see a stripper to help your blue balls. I guess.

TheMaster15 10

^exactly. Compensation for lack of sex! Take the money OP!

Michaelpd 1

boom chika wow wow..

ICATiger 13

*bow chika wow wow.........

kut19 6

Too cheap to spring for the prostitute?

Randy84 10

Prostitute, stripper....same thing.

jweezy89 4

80- No sir, not even close. Strippers and prostitutes are not the same.

ClassyCommando 13

You're less likely to get an STI from a stripper. :)

LaughinStock 16

80 a stripper is usually trying to pay her way through college. Well a prostitute is someone who will show you to jail and a nice warm STD. *The More You Know* :D

Sanch101 7

Indeed, a stripper is completely different to a prostitute. If you try to touch a stripper a burly man will come over, tear your arm off and beat you with the soggy end (or so I have heard).

okiidokii_fml 6

Yeah Strippers just take over the clothes while dancing Prostitutes you have sex with. And are you sure she wasnt being sarcastic? "Id rather give you money for a stripper"

jbaby69 0

Aww isn't that sweet

blackout23 4

Maybe if you begged long enough she would do a threesome with you and the stripper

Babyseal420 7

Probably not.

McDonaldsworker 4

Probably not cause strippers are for teasing u & prostitutes are for sex (and three somes) I stripper would most likely hate u if u suggested any kind of sex like that,

CaptainPickles72 18

It depends on where you get a stripper or what club you go to! I know some clubs around where I live have girls who are willing to make some extra cash in the back room if you're willing. That's not my thing, but whatever floats your boat!

pfx2_fml 15

Is that a good thing or a bad thing

j_cat187 20

Bad I'd rather get laid

Tektite 14

Wtf? Time for a new girlfriend. Maybe get her to give you money for a car first though ;D

emilyjgraham 34

just because she didn't want sex, once? you have a lot to learn in a relationship if you assume a girl will always have sex with you when you want it

DjeePee 25

'just because she didn't want sex, once?' Not wanting sex once in a while is definitely normal, but sending your boyfriend to the strippers so that they can pleasure him (and that's not even true: stripper =/= prostitute) while that's your 'job'? Really, how ******-up is that? What's the next step, sending him to her best friend so she can have sex with him? If your girlfriend hates the idea of sex that much, there is something incredibly wrong. You should talk to her instead of accepting her offer.

prettyinpunk1025 14

Some people are asexual, or others have been sexually abused, which can change their opinion of sex. I was abused, and I despise sex now.

ohmandapants 17

Really? Her "job" is to pleasure him? Excuse me? It's not her "job" to do anything for him. Lots of relationships work without sex being involved. Maybe she wants to wait til marriage? Or her libido has decreased due to depression, being on the pill, medication, or she could even be in her first trimester of pregnancy. We don't know what the circumstances are. The stripper thing is weird, I'll admit, but maybe it's because she feels bad that she can't find it in herself to do anything for him sexually right now.

Torva_fml 16

Can we try to summarize our comments a little, I CBF to read pages of comments.

LaughinStock 16

Lmao right 120 I was getting all into the thread, then I saw the paragraphs and I was like **** that!

cradle6 13

I actually agree with 61 for the most part. Biggest question is, if OP's girlfriend hates sex so much, why is he still with her? Thats a such sign of irreconcilable incompatibility, and if she's been sexually abused, then the possibility of a normal and healthy relationship diminishes. And it's not OP's responsibility to stay with her because he feels like he has to 'help' her. I've personally dated several girls who were victims of sexual abuse, and it's rough. Either way, there are asexual guys out there that would probably be a better match for OP's girlfriend, and there are many many girls that would be a better match for OP.