Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
deadsrs 0
iPhone here :-) I really should be managing my store... ehhh they will be fine!
MadaZer0 8
Actually using the iPhone or Touch for FML is slightly better than the computer FML site... IMO
braFTW 0
So he's into charity, what's the big deal? He's probably just helping some young girl paying for college.
braFTW 0
About your daughter, well, not everyone gets to be an astronaut or the president when they grow up.. Still, it beats working on some fast-food restaurant her whole life. =D
MadaZer0 8
Dead you need a pic... Join the click~
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Jesus...How on earth did you guys get so popular? (waits for Jesus joke)
roxiefab 0
speechless... except kick the ass out... he obviously doesn't deserve your daughter either!!!
MadaZer0 8
How in animes name do you make a Jesus joke out of.... Oh I see...
deadsrs 0
I do indeed need a pic... everytime I think to do it I'm away from my computer and I don't know how to on my phone. Soon though... the world shall know my face!!! bwahahaha...*cough*
racherose 0
i did too. i thought it was just people dancing naked, so it sounded fun.