Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
toni27 0
YAYYYYYYYYYY I'm not alone. I can't wait to grow up and be a stripper!!!!!!:D whoooo
DaniLupin 0
I thought it said she wanted to be a sniper. makes much more sense now :D
kemar7856 0
I hear it pays well
mangobells 0
What if the husband just went to see a stripper and the little girl heard him talking about it with his mates or whatever and thought that meant she (stripper) was her dads girlfriend.
tb_2010 0
I hope the ' in we're is shortening "were" ;)
realef 0
wow haha don't know what to say
WTFLMFAOFML 0
LOL
faztflow 0
your some role model. the apple didn't fall from the tree. what did you expect her to be a freakin doctor? lol
ensemble 0
Wait. Are you still married to your husband but he has another girlfriend or are you the husband and your wife is a hooker? Learn how to write ffs.
Aggriken 0
Today, I learned my daughters goals in life. FML