Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
deadsrs 0
ed or ment?
samantha_durano 6
oh damn! woww.
deadsrs 0
or ing?
pink_shades 0
wow. I would definitly **** that bitch up first and then leave my husband, my productive tactics;]
Freeze_fml 17
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/son-i-am-disappoint
perdix 31
No, trailer trash can't refer to the husband. The OP is his wife and she lives with him. Can he be trailer trash while she is a respectable lady residing in a mobile domicile? Maybe, but not likely.
boogievelli 0
that's fukin funnyy....some1s gettin a lapdance while your at work
deadsrs 0
I believe in this scenario snicker is reffering to the man as being the quality OF trailer trash... not in actuality but more in actions. boomshakalaka?
boogievelli 0
how I put a damn pic on my icon
deadsrs 0
And Freeze... I will catch you in a grammar mistake. It will happen even if I have to dedicate my life to it! Nah, I'll give up before that...