Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
txdriller27 2
What a dumb ass
NPN_Scorpio 16
I guess it's not in a neatness freak's nature to get down and dirty. Move on.
thir13enthour 0
So I'm guessing you're not that hot... There's a saying, " I wouldnt kick her out of bed for eating crackers." if that doesn't apply you're ugly.
isaac713 0
never get between a man nd his snadwhich
dmann56 0
Tell him mayonnaise is an organic lube that tastes alright too!!
jedielf 23
FYL - if he had crumbs in his bed, then he should have cleaned it or changed the sheets. But you also deserved it for eating something like that in bed...
FlamingSammich 0
Probably because you didnt make him one. What were you doing out of the kitchen anyways?
jobsman99 0
a few crumbs would not stop me. he must be gay. if I was with you I would want to eat something better than a sandwich and I there would not be any crumbs.
DisappearingRose 18
Hey hey hey hey.... I don't like crumbs in my bed either!
macklby 3
I think he deff bats for my team ;-)