Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
b1gphil 6
no-one likes a crumby bed! :P
ilikeemsmall 4
I can see why he turned her down. He's probably had it before so it's not like the "new pussy syndrome" is in play here. He walks in and sees his girl sitting there and gets a mental image of her chewing and dropping crumbs everywhere with no regard to how nasty it makes the bed feel, only with stuffing her face. Maybe he has hangups about stuff like that. I'm glad he's breaking the stereotype that all men will look past anything just to get laid.
BD_Swingin 0
I can't freaking stand guys who are like that.
LuhDemDinosaurz 6
He was jealous you didn't make him one.
stro88 6
Probably already had sex that day and was sore lol.
Marquelle53 0
Now this is completely your fault. If a man was eating in your bed and spilt something you'd call him a nasty pig ladies. He doesn't want bugs crawling in him during sex. It's simple
JuanStar 0
U cam **** a man on his bed,but u do not **** w/ a man's bed
andre5006 2
I hope you learned your lesson
billys56 0
I know I like a clean bed, maybe he was just overcome by OCD?
Glassmaster 0
You should have made one for him too