Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
xrainbowshadowx 17
Cockblocked by the sandwich.
JokeMeister 0
you mean YOURE the one that has to beg fir sex? either ur no good or he's gay. not good choices.
jbong 0
Would you like it if he got crumbs in your beddd????!!!!
lolnatalyloves 9
I hate crumbs on my bed too! Lol
themike625 2
Probably should have made him a sandwich as well.
Lolzords 11
YDI, I can't stand people eating in my bed either
d3adly 5
Yea that was his sandwhich
iexcell 0
pie n sandwich don't go together
loserman67 36
But he probably makes you sleep in the "wet spot" afterwards. What a creep. Tell him you found someone that appreciates you and the sex and let's you eat whatever you want in bed.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Lol! usually the FMLs on here are about the dudes getting upset because the chicks arnt in the mood to bang...but looks like there is some role reversal in this relationship (;! I