Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
skyttlz 32
Don't eat on a bed if you can't clean up after yourself.
catkat1988 17
lol, my boyfriend is pretty anal about crumbs, too, but not to the point where he'd give up sex because I got crumbs in our bed. FYL, definitely.
sheethapins 13
Sounds like a crumby excuse to me.
Majstr 23
The crumbs are realy annoying or just a good excuse.
corndog017 0
He sounds like a dick
Nbrandwine 7
67, I couldn't but help to notice your profile picture...
Reaperonin 1
You wouldn't be my girlfriend if I caught you eating in my bed. That's disgusting. Beds are for ******* and sleeping. NOT EATING, ya big fatty.
tayza249 20
So crumbs are disgusting, yet sweat and bodily fluids are not?
fatfatgoeshome 8
How does eating one sandwich make her a fatty? I could understand calling her a fatty if she made 100 sandwiches and ate them all, but one sandwich is a reasonably sized portion.
MicheleLovesU 0
# c l e a n f r e a k m u c h ? ? ? ?
FLOWbroLAX 4
Better then eating captain crunch on his bed..
Enigmax2514 7
Relevance? Other than the fact that she crossed boundaries?
FLOWbroLAX 4
If she needs a bib, she's too young for you bro! Hahaha... Anyone? No? Okay..