Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
Rach227 8
I don't like crumbs in my bed either but thats one step too far lolz
thiscrazything 1
Heard of a kitchen table? They are made to eat food off of. But they can also be good for sex.
simplylost643 0
120, Not when it's covered in crumbs it's not.
OfficeNinja 5
tell your drama queen boyfriend to just get out of the closet already. it's ok.
Egnar 19
Nobody wants to role around in bed with crumbs in it. Though, I have to wonder why if he is so concerned about crumbs why he didn't stop you in the first place, yesterday.
mattiecyberbee 0
WHAT ARE YOU DOING EATING HIS SAMMICH?!?! GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN!
MrLoux 6
what a sad excuse for a male...
BighornB 0
Deny him ******** for awhile, he will quickly get over the whole crumb issue.
Btreasure 8
BITCH!! why'd you get crumbs in yo mans BED!!!
MuziKMajoR 5
I'm sorry but u must suck at sex "pun intended" if the guy is going to drop u for bread crumbs
sneeze_watch 19
Sounds like a pansy. You're better off with the sammich.