Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML
Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
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Top comments
1awliet 8
He's obviously never heard of the 3 second rule.
MLK12345 4
So if you drop a skittle on the ground, and I manage to shit on it and pee on it in under 3 seconds, would you still eat it?
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Comments (194)
1awliet 8
He's obviously never heard of the 3 second rule.
Keyman1212 14
She's obviously never heard that urine is actually sterile(barring any internal infections). Not that I'm defending pissing on anyone, that's an odd fetish/weird way to empty your bladder.
MLK12345 4
So if you drop a skittle on the ground, and I manage to shit on it and pee on it in under 3 seconds, would you still eat it?
peteyfas 8
Well that story took an unexpected turn
Keyman1212 14
You're a sick ****** 12.
1awliet 8
I don't think you could even do all that under 3 seconds.
iKickKixy 3
Fu*k that it's a SKITTLE their is no time limt. Especially if it's a one of those Tropical skittles.
thisisafunnyname 12
12 IS A ****** TRANSFORMER!
Sammiches 12
3 second rule is complete bullshit.
dsbs 9
What's wrong with peeing in the shower?
Keyman1212 14
Nothing is wrong with it, 90% of humans do it. But urinating on someone else is a bit odd.
spiderman2211 0
26- I get the feeling you've never heard of a golden shower?
max500 4
11- You're an idiot. Urine is only sterile while it's in the body. Learn your facts before you spew 'em, douchetard.
airforce987 20
Peeing in the shower saves 534 gallons of water per person annually. He's being Eco-friendly.
rexgar2000 10
11- wrong pee still sterile after it left the body for a certain time. In fact it is proven that if you have athletes foot and while you in the shower you pee on your own feet it is good for you and helps to get rid of it faster. just wanted to share that. thanks and goodbye.
Keyman1212 14
Max- while it's true that it is not longer sterile when it is removed from the body, I think that the second or less that it has to eject from the boyfriend's urethra on to the body of his girlfriend gives it less time to come in contact with contaminants. But you know, her skin isn't sterile, and neither is the air, so your point is made rather moot.
max500 4
Keyman- It's sterile until it leaves the bladder. On it's way out, it comes into contact with the bacteria and contaminants in the urethra, so by the time it's coming out, of the body, it has already lost it's sterility. Rather than insulting you, I'll just try to educate you so you're no longer making up crap.
keepcaImcarryon 0
It would have been kinky if he peed on you while saying, "Taste the rainbow."
Keyman1212 14
Omg rly Max?!?!??!?! Didn't I just say that? Holy shit I did!!!!1111!11!1!11 I'm not worthy to learn from someone so smart as you, I should probably go back to being a dumb ole nuclear engineer... Yep, I'm that douche who throws his profession into the argument.
yazmi_09 3
My boyfriend pees on me in the shower too, but I love him, so I embrace the golden shower!!!!
DocBastard 40
Alright everyone, calm down. Urine is sterile, but there is typically some bacteria in the urethra that can get into the urine. It isn't enough to cause an infection, but it cam be enough to cause a false-positive urine culture. That said, urine is potable under dire circumstances, and it's safe for "water sports". Now can we all move on?
iam_yummylicious 12
Keyman - what's wrong with a good ole fashioned Golde Shower?
iam_yummylicious 12
Keyman - what's wrong with a good ole fashioned Golde Shower?
tygerarmy 35
He obviously peed on the floor before she dropped the skittle.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Thank you, doctor, for restoring order to the chaos with your medical expertise. Now, can you look at this thing I got growing out of my ass?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Hmm says the blind man pissing in the wind it all comes back to me. I would like to take this moment to say I think 100% of u r reading this right now.
stinkFist232 3
I got no jokes, just gonna say you're a good gf for that. Mine has the same type of mentality for my quirks...then again I've yet to try to pee on her lol
rainydayz133 6
-.- just shutup already
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Actually, douchetard, urine is completly sterile when exiting the body. Ghandi started every day with a sip of his. Only when urine is left to settle and gather bacteria it becomes unsanitary. Learn your facts before you spew 'em.
ALpein 0
What if he pisses Skittlez?
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
*To 31
mitchiemoto 7
You should be honoured he was marking his territory claiming you as his own. He must love you :)
Tommananaze6T9 4
Is your boyfriend R Kelly by chance?
Mr_Trollsome 1
Yes. That's how the three second rule works
urdirtyolduncle 15
91- Gandhi also ****** goats. You people are completely oblivious as to what a true asshole he was. This is coming from an Indian from India.
Naitsi 19
5 second rule :P
graham11 14
12- that sounds like the most productive three seconds ever!!
Link5794 18
Ha! People are flaming at each other about the sterility of urine.
TheRealBruce 12
He pulled an R Kelly
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
That a girl... Keep it up
fenixtorador1 11
You're obviously not very smart 31.
monkeywrench1 10
Good girl.
MaCOOLiT 5
You guys really need to listen to Keyman. He really knows this stuff because he's a semen, oops, I mean a seaman. Yup, throwing it back to you, all over you face.
crudeandrudeguy 29
@91- an actual doctor commented above you on the sterility of urine, your opinion is not needed especially considering it was false
lindon555 0
That's disgusting. Dump tht asshole
MikeDa1Da 14
If FML was a family, you'd be that retarded cousin.
npnptracking 7
Or the ignorant uncle
lindon555 0
If anybody was ur family, you would be the one who everyone wants kill
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Wants to kill*^
PoeSlayer 0
I don't see how that's so disgusting. I mean, they are in the shower. Just wash it off. Duh.
Jaxx66 21
Well it is gross. But all the people on FML who vote to dump someone instead of telling them they don't like it, are retarded.
Nosrebor 8
60 does that mean you wouldn't mind if someone peed on you? I don't know about you but I would be pissed off... Oh, look how clever I am.
murdersquirrel 15
70 - it's not like he peed on her in the car, or in the kitchen. He peed on her in the designated place where people go to clean themselves.
graham11 14
19- if FML was a family, we would all be in therapy. So much hatin going on!!
cannibletaco 6
Why must new people think that break-up/divorce is always the answer?!? It makes me ashamed to be classified as 'new'.
HeXr 22
Could he not just omit the peeing on her part completely? I know, crazy idea
everybodyluvsMEN 0
Maybe he has a nice pee fetish. Try it yourself, you'll love it ;)
npnptracking 7
^^^ that's DISGUSTING
zukinihudini 0
I'd be disgusted if you didnt eat it
RageWolf16 31
#29- That's judgmental and rude :)
unicornoats 5
Yuck...
sethman27 0
Singing "I wanna piss on you"
dtbomb 3
Who doesn't love a nice golden shower?
RadPenny 6
*slowly raises hand*
CryMoreFMLs 15
*raises his hand* I prefer snow... Not the yellow variety either.
chasemoehlman 1
I certainly do.
rjonesy1992 0
Haha. Both of those things are acceptable.
wouter320 0
Ew.
LittleScrub 6
At least he didn't shit on you. Count your blessings.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
OP pee on him next time? Then u 2 can have a golden shower ;)
trollsemen 8
Hey, who doesn't pee in the shower?
KittahMonster 20
it wasn't about peeing in the shower. it was about being peed on in the shower.
trollsemen 8
Sorry, did that insult you?