Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML
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Top comments
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmfao! Harold and Kumar quotes! ahahahah
deathartisan 0
hahaha. fyl op. but he is a funny guy. you should find a better quote to pull on him if you make him go down on you
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Comments (220)
responses 0
hahaha
bleedinginside 0
bite his sandwich off
sublimaze 6
lol. i bet your bf is greek and gives massages. see the post from 2 days ago
Darraghscoot 0
get over it :)
snickerfudles 0
first
ringmybell_fml 0
fail, you're 34
ringmybell_fml 0
i be up in the kitchen, making cockmeat sandwiches.
snickerfudles 0
first
tofuzoo52 0
LMAO #20
lmfao1643 3
I thought that was a turn on.
Jrook 0
@38 I'd say that is sexy but it's sounds very much like you're dismembering people
babybubz 0
LOL.. Harold and Kumar ftw..
Enoch134 0
38 merry me
vrock 0
no brydd she was giving HIM head which mean a bj dumbass
elchiclebubalu 2
Harold and kumar. lol best movie ever
Boygenius50 8
How merry are you? It's marry you dumbass
yoourface 0
so did you eat it ?
marc33 0
so is OP guy or girl..? could be either one.. but didn't say..! :?)
shadaboo2014 0
way does ftw mean?
shadaboo2014 0
I mean wat
Ayre 0
lol was just about to say that
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
extra mayo, bitch
brianred5 0
lol @ 74
brianred5 0
71 not 74
dude247 0
@ does not mean and or number retarted ppl
papichulo1411 0
can you give me one???
cjHidalgo 0
yur eyes are closed
papichulo1411 0
"ring my bell" let's hook up!
rennobeinna 0
definately!!
Secret_Fire_King 0
"Eat that spicy taco!" XD
fizzymonsterman 0
in soviet russia cockmeat sandwich eat you!
fuzzywazzy012 0
Your hot
ZTB13 4
Is his name Big Bob?
Draeven_fml 0
please don't let it be big bob
alexturntwo 0
haha
oregonshitty 4
haha gross
kniickles 0
totes!!!
13lack 0
his favorite drink is steak.
MegMM 0
ewwww nasty!
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmfao! Harold and Kumar quotes! ahahahah
blake10w 0
great movie lol
jellybean120 10
Oh! I love that movie. the part where kumar's ****** the bag of weed's hilarious!
sugarbabyxoxo 2
@26 yes! hahaha
BATjr 0
lmaaaooo!
deathartisan 0
hahaha. fyl op. but he is a funny guy. you should find a better quote to pull on him if you make him go down on you
Colin466 0
something like ... lick those beef curtains!
bobsaten 0
^ This
beer01 0
hahhaha! I think that would just make me laugh.
CooLbEAnS1096 0
Eat that bean taco!
vincespektor 0
that's hott
Joey7361 0
no 26 is hot
gDwane 0
yur mustache is hott
Sydni_1022 8
That's nasty!
blaaaaakely 0
what a gentleman
nickforthewin 0
I agree
perdix 31
No, blaaaakely, if he were a gentleman, he would have said, "Eat my cockmeat sandwich, please" or even better, "Would you kindly do me the pleasure of eating my cockmeat sandwich, if you please?" You can learn these things at the Junior League. Btw, I love the downshirt photo ;)
shadaboo2014 0
lolerrrz (first part)
blaaaaakely 0
bahahah. you are quite the gentleman yourself, perdix! ;)
jrocks213 0
haha but u still ate it right???
Joey7361 0
I bet she did with extra mustard and mayo too
Laurendorcus 0
Tell him you got food poisoning and that you have to stop. Later tell him you're allergic to all forms of "cockmeat" so you never have to do it again
CrimsonWolf1294 0
^this
jts924 0
not this^
The_Norwegian 2
This^
shadaboo2014 0
woooooooooow
purplemnm 9
^ that
ScaryyMary 14
The other white meat.
Jack99 0
the vegetarian speciаl
ScaryyMary 14
******' hippie!
purplemnm 9
free love