Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
Stoneyyay 5
ydi fatty :P
ryankon518 3
You're supposed to make him a sandwich to eat in his bed.
wieners11 4
Gay
TheOmen46 1
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE SANDWICH NOT EAT IT!!!!!!!!!
naiisrandom 7
This guy wins at life
AmethystRain 20
Seriously, what is wrong with you? There are tons of other places to eat: kitchen table, living room in front of the TV, outside on the patio, or even sitting at your computer desk. Who wants to roll around in a bed full of crumbs and get all itchy? I hope next time he's hungry, he goes over to your house and eats a whole box of Triscuits while sitting on your bed.
ZipperPSP 1
Let him eat a sandwich in your bed
MROMRO 0
How dare you!
reddawn85 8
Well it looks like you're the man in the relationship. Have fun with it, for real.
neverletup21 2
Wat kind of man says no to sex wit a girl!?