Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today, as my boyfriend was climbing into bed, I asked him for a sandwich. He sighed irritably, so I reminded him that I'm a princess. He said, "I don't like monarchists" and went to sleep on the sofa. WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML
Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
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Top comments
slantyshanty 7
Don't eat stuff in other peoples beds then.
ariannaimelda 7
He could just wipe them off?
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Comments (150)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Your boyfriend is a big immature baby.
whitedw 0
wat a bitch!!! n of course I mean him.... why is taking it so anally?? Hahahahaha or is he use to it...
Glenninator 4
This one time my girlfriend had cereal and milk in my bed at 5a.m. I was pissed
spazzy910 0
I hate crumbs in my bed!
Battle765 4
Is this guy serious he probly just got done getting it from his boyfriend. Or she is ugly and he didn't feel like riding a scooter right then.
Bethhh13 1
Will he reconsider if you make him a sandwich?
vbmg152 19
He's not Mr. Picky, you are Miss Inconsiderate!! How dare you eat in someone else's bed! I'd kick your ass if I were him! YDI!!!
dnvrcosnobrdr 0
Of course you fat bitch!!! get the hell up and walk your lazy ass to the table.
a6h311h0und 1
lesson learned.
Wreakorofhavoc 1
One of the few reasons to withhold sex I can agree with.